The Three Wise Men who brought gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh to the infant Jesus may not have been particularly wise and could have been women, the Church of England has ruled.
A committee revising new short prayers, or “collects”, for the Church’s latest prayer book, Common Worship, said the term “magi” was a transliteration of the name of officials at the Persian court and the possibility that they were female could not be dismissed.
The General Synod approved the new prayers yesterday at the opening of its week-long meeting in London but some members privately complained that the Church was becoming obsessed with politically correct language.
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What if one of the three wise personages was a women. Well you know how long it takes some women to get ready to go out, especially for a really long trip. I can easily imagine the other wise men getting frustrated waiting around for her to get ready. So here is a parody based on Rod Stewart’s Maggie May.
Wake up magi I think I got something to say to you
It’s late December and we should follow the star this yule
This walking can’t be excused and seeking wisdom not refused
Oh magi we really need to leave by four
To tour far away from home to a manger we all were shown
We must now depart and it’s time to hit the dirt
The morning sun when it’s in your face really shows your age
But stop putting on makeup we need to find the new born king
We’ll see King Herod along the way, you know he will ask us to stay
Oh magi we really need to leave by four
You need to get away from home, to find the one that will atone
He’ll save our soul and that is what it is all about
We must leave now to walk across the burning sand
But we need to discover what a lover God is and to him we shout
Please get up now from the bed
And in the morning we all must fled
Oh magi we really need to get out the door
You need to get away from home, to find the one that will atone
He’ll save our soul and that is what it is all about
The road is waiting and it is time to find the king that will rule
We need to follow that star in the sky shining like a diamond jewel
Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh we must pass to the divine hand
Oh magi it is time to really set the pace
We must honor the child of Mary from Galilee
The baby in swaddling clothes we all must see
We need to get going because it is far away
Relatedly, in December of 2002 a Church of England bishop said that Jesus’ family were asylum seekers and the three Wise Men were part of an assassination plot.
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At that time I had posted:
Did Herod the Great contract out a hit to three foreigners for plausible
deniability? How did this assassination go awry? Did King herod say “Go and
murder him” and they thought he said “Gold and myrrh to him”?, frankly that
makes sense.
4 comments
This has be in your personal top 10! Excellent.
Tee hee! Bwaaa haaaa haaaa! Snort, snort, snort.
Good job, Jeff!
the Church of England needs to put down the shovel already. they just keep digging themselves deeper and deeper into total stupidity.
I really do prefer that to the stuffy old “Amahl and the Night Visitors”…..it has a good beat and you can dance to it!