The U.S. team headed by Archbishop Wuerl received the Silver Medal for this round of synchronized mitre placement.
In an amazing act of dexterity Archbishop Niederauer of San Francisco rubbed his head in a circle while chewing gum and reading from a prayer book.
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Edmund Casimir Cardinal Szoka points out the cool fold-down side altar in the new Volvo XC90 SUV (Sacramental Utility Vehicle) given to the Holy Father.
The Pope was also impressed by the specially mounted holy water font that won’t spill when moving.
Recently Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.) and Rep. Peter Hoekstra (R-Mich.) reported on new reports confirming that approximately 500 chemicals weapons have been discovered in Iraq since 2003. There has been doubt as to whether these uncovered and undeclared weapons were still effective considering their age. Though even in their present form they are still a danger.
I have information of more WMDs found in IRAQ. I have been provided with documentary information that has not appeared in any news sources and as far as I know has not been presented to congress.
Earlier Hans Blix met with Pope Benedict XVI. What has not been released unto now is the questions that the Pope put to the ex-UN weapons inspector. The Pope had questions about a previously unreported discovery of WMDs that had been leaked to the Vatican. Though as usual Hans Blix was unable to give him any information since he would be unable to find a casino in Las Vegas.
What the Pope was asking about was a weapons cache discovered on May 16th of this year.
While the above photograph of a cache of books and other items appears to not be very threatening, but I think this detailed report is pretty convincing.
Warning: The images below are not for the faint of heart.
Now if these aren’t evidence of Weapons of MASS Destruction I don’t know what are. Also found were documents from ICEL (Iraqi Committee for Experimental Liturgy). Can there be any doubt with the books found by Vosko, Kung and others that there was a concerted effort for Mass destruction? The box of accordions for Polka Masses and the gross of clown noses as shown above can leave no doubt to even the most skeptical. Besides the rainbow stoles found there were boxes and boxes of leotards and liturgical dance streamers. Other documents showed proof that insurgent liturgists funded from outside of Iraq were planning to wreck havoc on the liturgy of the Chaldean churches in Iraq. Also found were plans to convert bunkers into Catholic churches. These cost-effective plan would have easily transformed these bunkers into L. A. Cathedral look-a-likes.
This also provides proof that Saddam Hussien lied and had something to hide from the inspectors. None of the missals found including the Gather hymnal had been disclosed in reports to the U.N. The UN had previously ordered the destruction of all Al Samoud 2 missiles but had not know of the Gather missals and their long range capability of liturgical destruction. The Gather missal deployment should have been picked up much sooner and it just goes to show how ineffective previous inspection programs had been.
Coalition forces in Iraq received information on an upcoming attacks by insurgent liturgists to remove chrism and other oils used for extreme unction from multiple churches. Though commanders in the field decided not to risk the troops in this raid because of concerns about cries of “No blood for Holy Oil” back home.
We must ensure that this WMD program is nipped in the bud and that the Chaldean and other Catholic churches in Iraq retain their beautiful liturgy free of the threats of insurgent liturgists. The old joke about how do you tell a liturgist from a terrorist has become even harder to differentiate.
So a guy walks up to the doorman at Opus Dei’s red brick national headquarters in New York City, points at an upper floor and asks, ‘Is that where you keep the torture chamber?’ ‘That’s ridiculous!’ says the doorman. ‘The torture chamber’s in the basement .’ That’s not just a joke. It’s a true story as told by the doorman in question, Robert Boone.
Boone’s tendency to josh amid the scrutiny and ribbing that Opus Dei has been getting since the fictional ‘The Da Vinci Code’ portrayed it as mysterious, brooding and tortured is catching on. Some former members of the group have used the book and movie as an opportunity to criticize Opus Dei as a controlling, authoritarian organization. Instead of withdrawing from public view, the conservative Roman Catholic organization, founded in 1928, is attempting to repair its damaged reputation through public relations campaigns, with members doing broadcast interviews or writing newspaper commentaries. It has also tried humor. Which brings us back to the doorman who works the graveyard shift. Boone said a woman shyly inquired, ‘Is it true women aren’t allowed in this place?’ ‘Nah. You can come in,’ Boone, an aspiring actor, said with studied bluntness. ‘But you’ll burst into flames if you do.’ She laughed, nervously. Even disclosures about some of Opus Dei’s more unusual activities, such as the self-mortification practiced by some members, have spawned in-house wisecracks and a new openness about the activities of the famously secretive organization. Some Opus Dei members have spoken openly about the cilice – a spiked chain worn on the upper thigh as a reminder of Christ’s suffering. In ‘The Da Vinci Code,’ it’s used by Silas, a murderous albino monk, who also whips himself with a ‘discipline,’ or knotted cord. John Allen, the Vatican correspondent for the National Catholic Reporter and author of the book ‘Opus Dei,’ said the group ‘has always been a magnet for conspiracy theories.’ ‘But it’s changed significantly in response to the book and movie; it’s more transparent and willing to respond to people’s questions,’ said Allen, whose book’s subtitle calls Opus Dei ‘the Most Controversial Force in the Catholic Church.’
‘So, there’s a sense that the movie did them a big favor,’ he said. ‘Historically, they’ve been seen as a big powerful group that victimizes its members. Now, there’s a sense that it has been victimized itself.’ And that is translating into both introspection and self-parody.
For example, a recent e-mail distributed among members and associates included this: Q: Do members of Opus Dei use the cilice?
A: That question really rubs me the wrong way! And this one: Q: Do members of Opus Dei really use a ‘discipline’?
A: Beats me. ‘The Da Vinci Code,’ which was published in 2003, and the film, which opened in May, suggest that Jesus and Mary Magdalene had a child and that Opus Dei is a secretive and corrupt cult. Opus Dei’s response has been that the book and the film are anti-Catholic bigotry and a conspiracy of lies. ‘If you can’t laugh at ‘The Da Vinci Code,’ ‘ mused Opus Dei spokesman Brian Finnerty, ‘what can you laugh at?’
Here is some funny stuff concerning the new translation.
First from Ironic Catholic:
The Ironic Catholic has heard that new liturgical wording of the Mass in the United States will likely create a new architectural wave called "the Open Air Church."
As a Washington Post article (above) notes, "The prayer said before Communion would become ‘Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof,’ instead of ‘Lord, I am not worthy to receive you.’" The architectural firm of Jennings and Sommerville, Ltd. revealed that they had already had two calls about roofless Church buildings.
"I think we can do it," mused Byron Jennings. "Maybe a retractable roof like so many stadiums have. "
But–why a roofless Church?–is the obvious question. "I can’t say for certain, the two who called were a bit scattered by the breaking news," said Julia Sommerville, "but I think our contacts were concerned that the translation was a little stilted and people would take it literally. You know, self-esteem would take a blow. So perhaps a retractable roof would ease the minds of Catholics receiving the Eucharist."
Clayton at The Weight of Glory
He Leeds me by right paths…he refreshes my liturgy. Even though my soul has passed through the shadow of the valley of dynamic equivalence, I fear no further dumbing down of liturgical texts, because formal equivalence is at my side, with Liturgiam Authenticam to guide me…
Gerald from The Cafeteria is Closed quotes from the speech of the head of the ICEL Bishop Arthur Roche of Leeds, England given to the American Bishops.
I noticed that in the early stages of our consultation on the Order of Mass, voices were raised in the South objecting to the use of ?"you all"? in the priest’?s greeting because of the way in which those words are used in the South. Later, this objection was not heard, presumably because one linguistic area cannot determine the language of the whole country: "?you all"? is not used in American Standard English as it is used in the South and, as far as I am aware, nobody suggested that the South should have its own separate Missal.
Shouldn’t that have been "And also we y’all"? The idea of regional translations can be funny but also scary .I could almost imagine the Pope coming to New Jersey for World Yout’ Day.
ROME, June 8 (UPI) — A 76-year-old Catholic archbishop who strayed and married a Korean acupuncturist, but later returned to the fold has released a CD of Zambian soul music.
Monsignor Emmanuel Milingo will perform songs from it with his band, The Emmanuel Milingo Experience, at the four-day Porretta Soul Festival outside Bologna beginning July 22, Italy’s ANSA news agency reported.
He’ll be in the company of some big names in Soul music, including the Neville Brothers, Irma Thomas and Bobby Purify, the report said.
The Emmanuel Milingo Experience? I guess they won’t be doing The Jimi Hendrix Experience "Are you experienced." Though you could slightly alter the lyrics to Christianize it.
Ohhh, but are you experienced?
Have you ever been experienced?
Not necessarily atoned, but beautiful
If the separation between church and state has gotten a little blurry in recent years, at least it’s not NASCAR. Because the separation between church and pits done blowed up a long time ago.
A publisher that hawks books on Scientology is sponsoring a driver on NASCAR’s late-model weekly circuit in California. Great. I figure it’s only a matter of time before other religions jump into the water (holy or otherwise).
I just want to be there when the Havoline/Nation of Islam Chevy rolls into Talladega.
You think it’s nasty when Tony Stewart and Kurt Busch slam fenders? What’s going to happen when the Israel and Hamas-sponsored Dodges come barreling out of turn two?
I look down the pavement and see the Roman Catholic Church/Hickory Hams Ford. I see Scientologists, Jews, Jews for Jesus, Hari Krishnas (cool paint job), Methodists, Baptists, Southern Baptists, North-by-Northwest Baptists and Episcopalians. I possibly see Agnostics, but they’re leaving their options open. I see them swapping paint in the grand daddy of all points races. Just gimme that Old Time Religion 500.
Interesting ideas, though I am well pleased that we will not see any Vatican sponsored cars anytime soon. Though I also kind of like the idea of seeing the Pope and pictures of the saints plastered all over the body of NASCAR sponsored car. At pit stops they could quickly refill the driver’s Holy Water bottle with one of those multi-gallon containers designed for quick refueling. The air bag could be filled with incense. Included of course would be a group of contemplative nuns praying for God’s will to be done in the race and for the souls of those who have died on the track. With the truth of the Church’s stance on contraceptives you know that the car would really burn rubber or destroy prophylactics by other measures. The car of course would have to have #33 in honor of the traditional age of which Jesus died. What could be more POD than a NASCAR with a Rosary hanging from the rear view mirror?
If John Paul II had ever taken up racing he would definitely have had the Pole position at of course the most famou of races – the Grand Priest.
Of course one of my old posts described what the Virgin Mary would race in.
Mary’s Fiat.
REUTERS/Osservatore Romano (ITALY)
"Maybe this one will be much better and won’t fly off like my Zuchetto. Does it come in white?"
