Here is my post from two years ago along with a new addition.
Of course Palm Sunday leads to:
This year though I added a new addition. If forgot about a major part of Palm’s line.
The Palm Pilate.
Update: Paul at Alive and Young has his own funny Palm Sunday graphic.
Sometimes in my parish I have seen one women who often wears a christianveg.com t-shirt. Today I saw another with what appeared to be another vegetarians t-shirt on first observance.
VEGETARIAN
Ancient slang for
village idiot who
can’t hunt or fish.
I am not a big fan of wearing t-shirts to Mass, but that was pretty funny and I do wonder what would happen if they both showed up wearing those shirts.
I never quite get the point of Christian vegetarianism as if we have the Asparagus Dei – the vegetable who takes away the sin of the world. If you want to be a vegetarian fine, but please don’t say dumb things like Jesus was one also or that there is a moral imperative to be one.
The Suburban Banshee is making me shriek with laughter. Maureen at Aliens in This World has the Top Ten Signs You’ve Succumbed to Motu-Mania.
Her list is great and I will add my own top ten list to hers.
10. You have a calendar marked out with all possible likely Feast days that the Motu Proprio might be issued on.
9. You have sent a gift subscription of Latin Mass magazine to all the priests in your area.
8. You have already budgeted in the fact that you are going to be saving a lot of money on gas by not having to drive to that one parish over an hour away that has the Indult Mass.
7. You have an “I ♥ Motu Proprio” bumper sticker on your car.
6. You have written 500 blog posts and 480 of them have been about the Motu Proprio.
5. You have been praying a continuous Novena to St. Jude because up until now you thought having a Tridentine Mass available in your diocese could be considered an impossible cause.
4. You won’t let your children play until they can tell you the Nominative, Genitive, and Dative of the Latin word you quiz them with.
3. You have thought about punching the next person who uses the word “nostalgic” referring to your wanting the Tridentine rite available.
2. You have written so many letters encouraging the Pope to release the Motu Proprio that the Post Office that you are known by your first name at the stationary store and Post Office.
And the number one sign you have Motu Mania is:
1. You plan to invite friends over and stage an all-nighter to watch Catholic news on your computer on the Vigil of Holy Thursday since this is the latest date that it is rumored to be announced. That is what friends you have after the last five vigils of suspected release dates.
For those who persist in wanting to bury a St. Joseph’s statue why not go for the Jack Bauer and St. Joseph Kit.
There have been studies showing that women talk about three times more than men. This can also be held up by scripture to an extent. Now the Blessed Virgin Mary being full of grace and the most perfect women naturally had a higher ratio which is seven to 0. Yes the words of Mary are recorded seven times in scripture and Joseph pegs in at a whopping zero. Thus all Catholics agree that Mary was the perfect women and many women Catholics believe that Joseph was the perfect man. The Harpo of the Holy Family.
Tom at Disputations today in regards to St. Joseph said "St. Joseph does speak in the Bible. We just need to be as quiet as he is to hear him."
The 4th Sunday of Lent is also known as Laetare Sunday, but many people are unaware of the problems of many people on this Sunday in Lent. Some people especially men experience gastrointestinal upset and skin problems at the site of priests wearing apparently pink vestments. Telling them that these vestments are actually suppose to be Rose colored to rejoice in Christ’s redemption to look up and see the first rays of Easter is of no avail. Regardless of any efforts to explain why a Rose is appropriate they still see pink vestments. This condition is known as Laetare Intolerance and the sufferers are Laetare sensitive.
Unto now there was no help for those affected by Laetare Intolerance.
Introducing Vestmints made of pure organically grown herb mentha. Mint was originally used as a medicinal herb to treat stomach ache and nothing could be better for those who get queasy over apparently pink vestments. Laetare Intolerance does not have to change affect your active participation in the Mass, but you will be able to pray actively with the best of them.
Just take one tablet before the hour fast before Mass and you will not have any of those annoying feelings. You will soon "O be joyful" just as Laetare originally means.
Vestmints does not work for everybody in all situation without additional help. Some vestments worn are so pink that you think instantly of Pepto Bismal and wish you had some for your queasy stomach. That is why each bottle of Vestmints includes a coupon for a free set of Rose colored glasses. The use of Rose colored glasses with Vestmints is highly effective in these situations that otherwise could result in pink eye.
Even better news is that those who suffer with Laetare Intolerance also often suffer from Gaudette Intolerance on the third Sunday of Advent and Vestmints has been proven to work on both Sundays. Thus killing two Sundays with one pill.
Vestmints can also be used for other severe vestment allergic reactions such as to rainbow stoles, vestments out of the seventies, or ones approved by Archbishop Piero Marini.
Remember though to see your doctor first before taking Vestmints to ensure you have a vestment related illness. He will take a stole sample and can give you the results immediately.
The story of the Three Little Pigs’ battle with the Big Bad Wolf has delighted children since it was written more than 150 years ago.
But the tale highlighting the merits of hardwork and practicality has become the latest to fall victim to political correctness.
A junior school production of the children’s story has been renamed the Three Little Puppies for fear of offending Muslims.
Organisers of a children’s music festival have altered the popular characters and lyrics because of the multi-cultural nature of the youngsters involved and their parents in the audience.
But yesterday Islamic leaders condemned the politically correct move as misguided and said decisions like this were turning Muslims into ‘misfits’ in society.
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 Jester Hat Tip: |
Kathy Shaidle | ||
Good to see this PC nonsense being talked down by some Islamic leaders. Though Year of the Pig ads were banned in China for Muslim sensitivity. In another case Muslims prevailed against toy pigs and a Winnie the Pooh tissue box.
Three little puppies is just too lame. I have an alternative that some Muslims will have no problem with.
In this story the Big Bad West keeps coming after and huffin’ and puffin’ a lot of hot air at these three little terror tykes. First they fled to Afghanistan, but the Big Bad West mostly chased them out. Then they fled to Iraq and the Huffin’ and Puffin became less organized and focused. Then they fled to the Media and now laugh as the Big Bad West huffs and puffs to no avail and they can just easily wait him out.
I thought the headline to this story to be rather funny.
Latin to replace Dylan
CATHOLICS could soon be singing Gregorian chants during worship after Pope Benedict announced he wants the singing style to make a comeback.
The 79-year-old German Pope, who last week told the world he does not care much for Bob Dylan, said the Catholic faithful should learn more of the chanting traditionally sung in Latin by choirs of monks.
"The better-known prayers of the Church’s tradition should be recited in Latin and, if possible, selections of Gregorian chant should be sung," he said in part of a 140-page booklet on the Mass.
He lamented that Latin, the Church’s official language, was disappearing and said he wanted future priests to study the language.
"Nor should we forget that the faithful can be taught to recite the more common prayers in Latin, and also to sing parts of the liturgy in Gregorian chant," he wrote.
The 1962-1965 Second Vatican Council ended the general use of the old-style Latin Mass in favour of local languages and some parishes allowed the singing of popular songs during the Mass.
In countries such as the US in the 1960s and 1970s, it was not uncommon for the faithful to sing songs such as Bob Dylan’s Blowin’ in the Wind or Simon and Garfunkel’s Bridge Over Troubled Water during the Mass.
The Pope, a lover of classical and sacred music and an accomplished pianist, clearly is opposed to that.
"Certainly as far as the liturgy is concerned, we cannot say that one song is as good as another," the Pope wrote.
"Generic improvisation or the introduction of musical genres which fail to respect the meaning of the liturgy should be avoided."
Now I generally like Dylan’s music, though of course not at Mass. But many do not realize that the lyrics to "Blowin’ in the Wind" are heretical.
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.
The Bible says:
And he said, “Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.
So clearly the answer was not in the wind, or the earthquake, or fire.
Just 90 minutes’ drive from the temptations of Amsterdam is a village so devout that swearing is banned, women refuse to wear trousers and the bank machine does not dispense cash on a Sunday.
The Netherlands, best known abroad for its liberal policies on sex, drugs and homosexuality, is also home to a Protestant "Bible Belt" mapped out by villages such as Staphorst.
Now a small political party long associated with the Bible Belt, the Christen Unie (United Christians or CU), is benefiting from a surge of support outside its rural heartland triggered by nostalgia for a more moral, compassionate society.
After almost doubling its vote in last November’s general election to 4 per cent, the CU has become the kingmaker in the Netherlands’ new centrist coalition government, a feat unthinkable at the time of the previous election in 2003.
Wow they even let ATM machines observe the Lord’s Day. For six days they worked and on the seventh day they stopped dispensing cash. The Sabbath was made for ATM, not ATM for the Sabbath. If you try to draw cash on Sunday the screen calls you a Pagan and shreds your bank card.
Here is a previous parody I did on Bible Belts.
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Equip yourself for the Christian life with these new Bible Belts™ for every person and occasion so that that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. A just man’s pants fall seven times a day so keep that from happening with these great Bible Belts™. Are you at work or in a grocery store and somebody challenges your faith? Are you always prepared to make a defense to any one who calls you to account for the hope that is in you? Sure you have tried the normal pocket Bibles, but they are just too hard to read. Why not go with the real thing that will be in front of you ready for any occasion.
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And if you act now with every order you will receive our new teflon coated sandals absolutely free!. Dust will not adhere to them so that when you preach to a town that will not hear the Gospel there is not dust to have to knock off at the end. |
ROME (Hollywood Reporter) – Days after Pope Benedict XVI criticized the media for its "destructive" influence, the Vatican on Monday announced plans to launch its first television network by the end of the year.
H2O will broadcast news and original entertainment programming worldwide in seven languages, according to a statement. Additional details were sketchy.
Over the years, the Vatican has been quick to adopt new technologies in its efforts to communicate with the world’s more than 1 billion Catholics. In 1996, the Vatican introduced its Web portal nearly three years before the Italian state unveiled its own Web site. And it has embraced digital and satellite technology.
In a speech to the Vatican’s communications department last Friday, the Pope called on the media to promote family values, human dignity and the common good.[Via Jay Anderson]
I am sure my readers can come up with a list of series they would like to see produced. I will start off with some of my own suggestions.
