Humor

What do Selena and Fr. Thomas Merton have in common?

There were both killed by a fan.

Now this is something I would like to see.

A reader who created this list sent it to me.

If math were taught the way religion is taught in many Catholic schools:

• How do you feel about numbers?
• Meditate on your favorite number, then write a paragraph about why it is
  your favorite.
• Choose a song and identify some of the ways in which numbers are present
  in it. Play the song for the class and lead a discussion about what the class
  thinks the song expresses about numbers.
• Which number is most present to you in your life today? Which number is
  most absent?
• We’re going to watch a movie. At the end of the movie we’ll
  discuss the ways in which numbers are explicitly and symbolically portrayed
  in it.
• What can you do to be more aware of numbers in your everyday life?
• What are your best and worst experiences involving numbers?
• Make a poster in which you creatively and colorfully depict a number of
  your choice.
• Although some numbers are called “greater” and others are called
  “lesser”, in what ways are all numbers really the same? In what
  ways can the “lesser” numbers be considered greater than the “greater”
  numbers, and in what ways can the “greater” numbers be considered
  less than the “lesser” numbers?
• Even though irrational numbers cannot be expressed as the quotient of two
  integers the way rational numbers can, explain how irrational numbers should
  be respected and considered to be no different from rational numbers.
• Explain how the traditional classification of integers as either odd or
  even is merely a social construct.
• Explain how every number has something good about it.
• Do you accept the way that previous generations have used numbers? How
  do you think numbers should be used? Is there a right or a wrong way to use
  numbers? What do you consider to be the most personally meaningful way to
  use numbers?
• How has the way you use numbers changed throughout your life? How do you
  think you will use numbers in the future?
• Explain why a diversity of numbers is good and what you can do to promote
  number diversity.
• Explain how multi-cultural approaches to numeral systems (e.g., Mesopotamian,
  Roman, Arabic) can enrich our appreciation of numbers. Also explain why no
  numeral system is better than any other system.
• You will have to do a group project in which each person contributes a
  number. Present to the class all the ways your group can relate the numbers
  to each other. Your presentation can be a PowerPoint or a video in which you
  creatively animate the numbers your group selects.
• Write an essay in which you pretend that you are a number. Explain what
  you think it would be like to be that number.
• If you believe in your heart or in your conscience that 2+2=5, does anyone
  else have the right to tell you that you’re wrong? Explain why we should
  avoid judging other people’s mathematical operations.
• Fractions are divisive. Can you think of better ways to express a quotient,
  without using divisive fractions? Is division something we should strive to
  do with numbers anyway?
• Explain why the labeling of numbers as either “positive” or
  “negative” is discriminatory, hurtful, and a manifestation of
  the bigotry of value-ism. How would you feel if you were labeled a “negative”
  number? What can you do to help end this kind of discrimination?
• Create a collage of numbers.

Pretty good list – though I would add:

• Make a felt banner showing what numbers mean to you.
• Should fractions be written with one number over another one? Explain why
  this is an unjust hierarchical system where when the operation is carried
  out it only diminishes the so-called numerator.

And added to one he sent me:

• Explain why the labeling of some numbers as “prime” is also
  discriminatory and hurtful, and a manifestation of the bigotry of divisible-ism.
  How would you feel if you were labeled a “non-prime” or “divisible”
  number? Does having factors really matter in the long run? After all There
  is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither
  male nor female; or prime and non-prime. If it isn’t divisive why does it
  have natural divisors?

Of course there is also my The
Mathsiah.

What would be your examples?

Depending
on where you live, today is Feast of the Ascension or the Seventh Sunday of Easter. If for you today is the Ascension than it is traditional to start a Sexdiebus to the Holy Spirit in anticipation of Pentecost. Many people are familiar with the older term Novena from the Latin word for nine and less familiar with Sexdiebus. Sexdiebus is a contraction of Latin for "sex diebus" -six days – which stands for the six days that Mary and the disciples spent in the upper room starting from the Ascension until Pentecost. So it is traditional (depending on where you live) to start your Sexdiebus in imitation of these six days of prayer.

Unfortunately even though the length between Ascension and Pentecost has been shortened in many locations, prayer books have not yet caught up. These prayer books often use the older standard of nine which makes it difficult for those working with the new Biblical exegesis in some dioceses where it is now six days. Some traditionalist complain about this but they should realize that the sex diebus is much more reflective since six days is much more common in the Bible than a period of nine days such as the six days of creation. Six days is also much easier to calculate as to when to start a Sexdiebus. For example if the event is on a Sunday you start the previous Sunday. If on a Friday you start on the previous Friday. Novenas usually forced you to grab a calendar and count nine days back – something much more unnatural. Plus how many times did you start a Novena and to forget to finish it? With a Sexdiebus you are 33 percent more likely to finish six days than nine.

So what do you do with your old Novena’s to convert them to the new standard? One option is to rip out the last three days. This method is the easiest and the numbering lines up nicely. Another method is to use the same first day, rip out days 2, 3 and 4, and then use a marker to renumber days 5 through 9. This method gives you a more accurate start and ending with the texts. Another option is to copy the text of a Novena from the web and then just modify it and print it out.

Regardless of the method you use just remember to start your Sexdiebus and pray for six days just like Mary and the Disciples.

A reader let me know that the Spirit of Vatican 2 Catholic Church parody blog under Fr. Tim’s Links that the Cardinal Mahony Fan Club links back to my site. Pretty funny, but I am pretty sure that L.A. Catholic is the president of that organization.

A reader sent me a link to a funny seminarian video making the rounds of St. Blogs.

Are you closely awaiting the constantly forecast arrival of the Motu Proprio to liberalize the Tridentine Rite? Do you follow every rumor of the latest announcement of the release date?

If so you will enjoy the fun of Motu Proprio Pool.

Play with your like-minded friends in you local parish or throughout your diocese. It is really simple to play. Just pick the date you think it will be issued on and write your name. Each person ponies up a dollar to pick a date of their choice. If the document is not released that month the pot rolls over to the next month and you all try again.

The best thing is that it does not matter who wins the pool since when the Motu Proprio is released everybody wins.

Motu Proprio Pool is more-than-likely legal to play in most states. This is purely a game of chance. The predictions so far of Vatican insiders on upcoming release dates have been just as random as if you threw a dart at a calendar in the first place.

So print out the Motu Proprio Pool and start having fun now!

I ran across the below real church sign and figured it needed an answer via the church sign generator.

This is from a post I did over 4 years ago

On the Laura Ingraham show today she had a segment with the wonderful Mark Steyn. At one point they were discussing Laura’s comment about the Sheryl Crow one piece of toilet paper for climate change where Laura had said "Liberals need to stay out of our bathrooms" and Mark Steyn said "All we are saying is give one piece a chance."

Now to be fair Sheryl Crow on her blog she now says "And by the way guys, the toilet paper thing…it was a JOKE!!" So I guess she is now opting for the failed joke category as John Kerry did. But at the same appearance she also talked about her dining sleeve.

I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefulness. I have designed a clothing line that has what’s called a "dining sleeve." The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.

Now what exactly is virgin wood? Would that be a "Cherry tree?" "When a bird or bee approaches some virgin wood with a bit of pollen does it say "Not tonight I have a headache." Do they fend off Beech bums? Or are they virgin trees because they are not very Poplar and need to Spruce up first. The next thing is I wonder if she has ever heard of the obscure invention called the handkerchief. If you are going to actually invent a clothing line with a Kramer like invention called the "dining sleeve" please don’t try to tell us the the TP thing was a joke.