Humor

What is a progessive’s favorite Latin hymn?

Tantrum Ego

From Ed Peters:

No doubt you’ve heard about the crazy man who tried to jump on the popemobile today. Nobody hurt, Deo gratias, but it caused a Vatican spokesman to meet the press with little time to prepare his remarks: … Jesuit Father Federico Lombardi, Vatican spokesman, refused to release the man’s name but said he was in a Rome psychiatric facility by 2:30 p.m., about four hours after being tackled to the ground by Vatican police. "The young man’s intention was not to make an attempt on the life of the pope, but to carry out a demonstrative act to attract attention to himself," Father Lombardi said. Because the young man was "showing clear signs of mental imbalance, psychiatric doctors from the Vatican health service were called, and they arranged hospitalization for obligatory treatment in a protected, specialized health facility…The case is, therefore, considered closed," Father Lombardi said.

A short time later, Pope Benedict XVI clarified Fr. Lombardia’s remarks.

“Like heck the case is closed!” His Holiness stated, “Some lunatic tries to jump on my car in broad daylight, and my people say the case is closed?! I don’t think so. You can see the whole thing on the tape, for crying outloud.”

The pope went on to observe that it is not unusual for him to clarify the statements of his press representatives after they talk to the media in an informal manner. “There is nothing unusual about that,” said the pope, “I have to do it all the time. It comes with the territory.”

A reader sent me a link to a fairly new blog called Good Jesuit, Bad Jesuit and his latest post on finding the Rosetta Stone to translate the "Dissidentine" used by Fr. Thomas J. Reese, S.J. into English.

Via Matt C. Abbott.

Believe it or not, there is VATICAN: The Board Game, "designed for 2–6 players, ages 15 and up," created by Stephen Haliczer, Ph.D., a research professor at Northern Illinois University in DeKalb, Ill.

I doubt orthodox Catholics (such as yours truly) would like it, judging from the fact that the game’s Web site contains links to Dan Brown’s site and certain dissenting publications.

Also, the section on Vatican II asserts the following:

"Many of [the Vatican II] reforms were put on hold or reversed under Pope John Paul II, who decreed that Bishop’s Conferences lacked any theological or collegial status and could not exercise independent teaching authority. In 2000, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith issued a document which denied the ability of other religions to offer salvation outside of Christianity."

I’m not crazy about board games in general, but this one I’ll skip for sure.

Obviously this is the Spirit of Vatican II board game. This would be a very hard game to play. For example even though rules come with it, you are not suppose to actually refer to them and to just refer to the spirit of the rules. If anybody complains that you are not actually following the rules and dares to quote from them you tell them to read between the lines to see what the Game Fathers intended or better yet accuse them of Phariseeism.

Ironic Catholic has a Top Ten Reasons To Do A Blog Sabbatical and also links to "ten signs you are blogging too much."

Here is my own list.

• Your immediate reaction to seeing a "ten signs you are blogging too much." is to blog your own top ten.
• You bought a new hard drive just so you had enough room to backup your list of RSS feeds.
• Your spouse carries a picture of the back of your head in their wallet because this is what they normally see.
• Sitemeter goes down and you have a panic attack.
• Your philosophy comes down to that there are two things in life – bloggable/unbloggable.
• You have a bumper sticker that says "I ♥ my Aggregator."
• When you have just got done reading 500 some posts your first instinct is to hit refresh to see if any more have been written.
• You don’t always remember your wedding anniversary but can instantly remember the year, month, day, and hour you started blogging.
• You are more concerned about comment spam than Homeland Security and while you are against the death penalty in general you think surely Trolls deserve the exception.
• The first thing you do when visiting a new blog is to see if your blog is on their blogroll. If not you try to find a post where you can immediately leave an intelligent and witty comment so that they will immediately add you.

Michael Linton at First Things on Bible Park U.S.A.

It all makes my head spin. A New York investment fund builds a Bible Park square on the buckle of the Bible Belt. Just as they hope to profit from folks interested in rock ‘n’ roll with their Myrtle Beach funland, here they hope to profit from folks interested in the Bible. But folks are interested in the Bible because they are religious and find religious answers to religious questions in this religious book. Yet the Bible park isn’t religious; that would be bad for business, because it would jeopardize the state subsidy (remember those “lower-risk, higher-reward investment opportunities”). So the holy stories are presented as secular “history” by costumed archeologists as its evangelists.

Doesn’t seem like a very smart risk strategy to alienate the very people you are targeting. Plus there are just so many ways such an endeavor would be just plain tacky.

I would like to a truly serious effort of a Biblically based theme park and here are some things I would like to see, though maybe my ideas are not that serious either.

• Elijah Flaming Chariot Roller Coaster Ride.
• A water ride where the Red Sea splits seconds before you think you are gong to get drenched.
• Jonah’s Whale Ride.
• Noah’s Ark Petting Zoo.
• A video game section that includes a First Person Smiter with Elijah and the priests on Mt. Carmel. Literally you would have a Baal.
• An Animatronics Hall of Prophets. Though you might have to have three different Isaiah’s or more to satisfy some Biblical scholars.
• Water fountains would all be disguised as rocks.
• Manna concession stand where any food sold would only have a shelf life of one day.
• Korah Earthquake Simulator. Though I guess the Earth opening up and swallowing you for disobedience might not appeal to all.
• Goliath Slingshot Gallery.
• St. Paul Wall Basket Ride.
• Deborah and Sisera Hi-Striker. This would be just like the amusement park game where you use a mallet to ring a bell. Instead you use a mallet to strike a tent peg through Sisera’s skull as Deborah did, though definitely not for the kiddies.

Those are just for starters. Though I would love a ride based on the Book of Revelation. This would be just like the It’s a Small World Disney Ride where you are taken through a world as seen via John’s eyes. I mean starting of with an Audio-Animatronic representation of "head and his hair were white as white wool, white as snow; his eyes were like a flame of fire.." would be quite cool. With all the angels, dragons, and assorted beasts it would be quite an eyeful not to mention a lamb as it was slain and Mary as the new Tabernacle. Though I guess with all of the interpretations of Revelation and the differences between many Protestant and Catholic views I guess you would have to set up different tracks for different groups. When they bought a ticket they would have to buy a Preterist, Futurist, Historicist, or Spiritual view ticket.

The daily Via Dolorosa parade through the park with the subsequent crucifixion might be a downer for many though.

Possibly to appeal to atheists they could incorporate a Spaghetti Monster Ride or serve Primordial Soup at the concession stands. Or in areas that display Biblical passages they could use the footnotes from the USCCB’s New American Bible, which would make many atheists happy.

Also cool would be to have representation of Catholic Heaven based on the Simpsons Episode. Now that would be fun.

Please pitch your own ideas for rides.

Michael R. Denton at For the Greater Glory posts:

The History Channel is showing a special on Star Wars for its 30th anniversary. So far, the highlight has been Newt Gingrich making a comment to the effect of:

"The Jedi are like the Jesuits of this world. They bring truth to areas that it hasn’t been before."

George Lucas has hinted that the Jedi were modeled loosely on the Jesuits so you can partly see it. Duke University even has a course From Jedi through Jesuit: Approaching Religious Conversion via the Missionary.

But I think the comparison can certainly be brought into the modern world of Jesuit education. Certainly it would seem a lot of Jesuits have given into the dark side and not the dark night of the soul. Lots of Fr. Vader’s out there that have no problems with Death Stars as long as they are pointed at unborn children. Quick name a Jesuit college in the United States faithful to the magisterium? In fact take your time to try to come up with one. It seems to me they have fallen to a sort of academic Stockholm syndrome. A desire to be respected by other once religiously founded but now secular schools has led to very nominally Catholic schools. To be respected by your peers has come to trump being faithful to the Church. Now I am sure this is an over simplification as every generality are, but to me it explains the results. Sure there are many great Jesuits, though they are the exceptions that prove the rule.

This Jesuits once known for defending the faith and their loyalty to the Pope are now more like the Star War’s prequels than the first three movies in the series or more specifically they are like the first prequel The Phantom Menace. When you watch the prequels you think "Hey the plot is familiar and so are some of the characters, but the execution of these movies is severely lacking." When you attend a modern Jesuit school you get the same type of feeling towards Catholicism. That the Catholic identity part is sort of familiar but the execution of it is not very good.

The old style Jesuits were like Obi Wan Kenobi – wise, fearless, and willing to lay their lives down. Give me St. Ignatius with a light saber any day or any other of the great saints in the true Jesuit tradition. Instead now you get taught theology of the same caliber as taking acting lessons from Hayden Christensen.

Too many new style Jesuits are like well …

"Yah, yousa will get a fine ejacation at dis school in the Jesuit Tradishun with the Ja Ja Jesuits."

What do Selena and Fr. Thomas Merton have in common?

There were both killed by a fan.

Now this is something I would like to see.

A reader who created this list sent it to me.

If math were taught the way religion is taught in many Catholic schools:

• How do you feel about numbers?
• Meditate on your favorite number, then write a paragraph about why it is
  your favorite.
• Choose a song and identify some of the ways in which numbers are present
  in it. Play the song for the class and lead a discussion about what the class
  thinks the song expresses about numbers.
• Which number is most present to you in your life today? Which number is
  most absent?
• We’re going to watch a movie. At the end of the movie we’ll
  discuss the ways in which numbers are explicitly and symbolically portrayed
  in it.
• What can you do to be more aware of numbers in your everyday life?
• What are your best and worst experiences involving numbers?
• Make a poster in which you creatively and colorfully depict a number of
  your choice.
• Although some numbers are called “greater” and others are called
  “lesser”, in what ways are all numbers really the same? In what
  ways can the “lesser” numbers be considered greater than the “greater”
  numbers, and in what ways can the “greater” numbers be considered
  less than the “lesser” numbers?
• Even though irrational numbers cannot be expressed as the quotient of two
  integers the way rational numbers can, explain how irrational numbers should
  be respected and considered to be no different from rational numbers.
• Explain how the traditional classification of integers as either odd or
  even is merely a social construct.
• Explain how every number has something good about it.
• Do you accept the way that previous generations have used numbers? How
  do you think numbers should be used? Is there a right or a wrong way to use
  numbers? What do you consider to be the most personally meaningful way to
  use numbers?
• How has the way you use numbers changed throughout your life? How do you
  think you will use numbers in the future?
• Explain why a diversity of numbers is good and what you can do to promote
  number diversity.
• Explain how multi-cultural approaches to numeral systems (e.g., Mesopotamian,
  Roman, Arabic) can enrich our appreciation of numbers. Also explain why no
  numeral system is better than any other system.
• You will have to do a group project in which each person contributes a
  number. Present to the class all the ways your group can relate the numbers
  to each other. Your presentation can be a PowerPoint or a video in which you
  creatively animate the numbers your group selects.
• Write an essay in which you pretend that you are a number. Explain what
  you think it would be like to be that number.
• If you believe in your heart or in your conscience that 2+2=5, does anyone
  else have the right to tell you that you’re wrong? Explain why we should
  avoid judging other people’s mathematical operations.
• Fractions are divisive. Can you think of better ways to express a quotient,
  without using divisive fractions? Is division something we should strive to
  do with numbers anyway?
• Explain why the labeling of numbers as either “positive” or
  “negative” is discriminatory, hurtful, and a manifestation of
  the bigotry of value-ism. How would you feel if you were labeled a “negative”
  number? What can you do to help end this kind of discrimination?
• Create a collage of numbers.

Pretty good list – though I would add:

• Make a felt banner showing what numbers mean to you.
• Should fractions be written with one number over another one? Explain why
  this is an unjust hierarchical system where when the operation is carried
  out it only diminishes the so-called numerator.

And added to one he sent me:

• Explain why the labeling of some numbers as “prime” is also
  discriminatory and hurtful, and a manifestation of the bigotry of divisible-ism.
  How would you feel if you were labeled a “non-prime” or “divisible”
  number? Does having factors really matter in the long run? After all There
  is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither
  male nor female; or prime and non-prime. If it isn’t divisive why does it
  have natural divisors?

Of course there is also my The
Mathsiah.

What would be your examples?