Humor

Several readers sent me a link to the following story.

Shortly after noon on Fridays, the Rev. Ann Holmes Redding ties on a black headscarf, preparing to pray with her Muslim group on First Hill.

On Sunday mornings, Redding puts on the white collar of an Episcopal priest.

She does both, she says, because she’s Christian and Muslim.

Redding, who until recently was director of faith formation at St. Mark’s Episcopal Cathedral, has been a priest for more than 20 years. Now she’s ready to tell people that, for the last 15 months, she’s also been a Muslim — drawn to the faith after an introduction to Islamic prayers left her profoundly moved.

Her announcement has provoked surprise and bewilderment in many, raising an obvious question: How can someone be both a Christian and a Muslim?

Well instead at looking a how ridiculous this is, let us look at the positive side of a Christian Muslim.

• When you issue a fatwa on yourself it is hard for you to hide from yourself so you won’t have a Salman Rushdie problem.
• If your suicide belt goes off prematurely you at least killed one Christian.
• You can pretty much preach any thing you want and on a given point be pro one day and con the other.
• You can engage in interfaith dialogue when you are by yourself.
• You can send money to both Jay Sekulow and CAIR.
• Preach that you can eat pork and preach that you can’t.
• Preach hat God is both one God and a Trinity of three persons. and then that Allah is one God and only one person.
• Preach that Jesus died on the cross and was resurrected and then that “They did not kill him, nor did they crucify him, but they thought they did.”
• Preach that Jesus was the Son of God and that he wasn’t.
• Preach that Mohammed was a deluded man with a heretical mix of Christianity and that he was the last Prophet sent by God.
• Preach about the inspiration of the New Testament and that it is the word of God and that it isn’t and in fact the Qur’an is.
• Preach that the Holy Spirit is the "other helper" and the that Muhammad is.
• Cheer for both sides of the Crusades.
• Call yourself an infidel.
• You can be a dhimmi to yourself.
• Have really really mixed feelings about Israel.
• Dip your fingers in a Holy Water font to make the sign of the cross and then wash your feet and pray before Mecca.

The Pope winds up for a little too enthusiastic Confirmation slap.

I have not yet commented on the Giuliani-lightning strike incident during the Republican debates. While it is pretty funny it does seem to me to be more of a coincidence then a God incidence. Though I don’t have the inside track.

If lightning strikes and pro-abortion politicians was normal operating procedure for God’s providence it seems to me that we might have noticed this before now. For one most pro-abortion politicians would be sporting Don King hairstyles. We could power major grids by tapping the power from lightning strikes to the lightning rod above the U.S. Capital or DNC headquarters. Pro-abortion Republicans would be looking like scenes in Frankenstein when the monster is first animated. Washington D.C. would have the highest incidence of lightning strikes in the U.S. and inside of the Supreme Court would always smell like ozone and surely Justice Blackmun would have been sporting a Harry Potter-like lightning bolt on his head (though he obviously was a Death Eater). Plus wouldn’t the famous line used by pro-abortion politicians be "I am personally opposed, but ZAP!"

What is a progessive’s favorite Latin hymn?

Tantrum Ego

From Ed Peters:

No doubt you’ve heard about the crazy man who tried to jump on the popemobile today. Nobody hurt, Deo gratias, but it caused a Vatican spokesman to meet the press with little time to prepare his remarks: … Jesuit Father Federico Lombardi, Vatican spokesman, refused to release the man’s name but said he was in a Rome psychiatric facility by 2:30 p.m., about four hours after being tackled to the ground by Vatican police. "The young man’s intention was not to make an attempt on the life of the pope, but to carry out a demonstrative act to attract attention to himself," Father Lombardi said. Because the young man was "showing clear signs of mental imbalance, psychiatric doctors from the Vatican health service were called, and they arranged hospitalization for obligatory treatment in a protected, specialized health facility…The case is, therefore, considered closed," Father Lombardi said.

A short time later, Pope Benedict XVI clarified Fr. Lombardia’s remarks.

“Like heck the case is closed!” His Holiness stated, “Some lunatic tries to jump on my car in broad daylight, and my people say the case is closed?! I don’t think so. You can see the whole thing on the tape, for crying outloud.”

The pope went on to observe that it is not unusual for him to clarify the statements of his press representatives after they talk to the media in an informal manner. “There is nothing unusual about that,” said the pope, “I have to do it all the time. It comes with the territory.”

A reader sent me a link to a fairly new blog called Good Jesuit, Bad Jesuit and his latest post on finding the Rosetta Stone to translate the "Dissidentine" used by Fr. Thomas J. Reese, S.J. into English.

Via Matt C. Abbott.

Believe it or not, there is VATICAN: The Board Game, "designed for 2–6 players, ages 15 and up," created by Stephen Haliczer, Ph.D., a research professor at Northern Illinois University in DeKalb, Ill.

I doubt orthodox Catholics (such as yours truly) would like it, judging from the fact that the game’s Web site contains links to Dan Brown’s site and certain dissenting publications.

Also, the section on Vatican II asserts the following:

"Many of [the Vatican II] reforms were put on hold or reversed under Pope John Paul II, who decreed that Bishop’s Conferences lacked any theological or collegial status and could not exercise independent teaching authority. In 2000, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith issued a document which denied the ability of other religions to offer salvation outside of Christianity."

I’m not crazy about board games in general, but this one I’ll skip for sure.

Obviously this is the Spirit of Vatican II board game. This would be a very hard game to play. For example even though rules come with it, you are not suppose to actually refer to them and to just refer to the spirit of the rules. If anybody complains that you are not actually following the rules and dares to quote from them you tell them to read between the lines to see what the Game Fathers intended or better yet accuse them of Phariseeism.

Ironic Catholic has a Top Ten Reasons To Do A Blog Sabbatical and also links to "ten signs you are blogging too much."

Here is my own list.

• Your immediate reaction to seeing a "ten signs you are blogging too much." is to blog your own top ten.
• You bought a new hard drive just so you had enough room to backup your list of RSS feeds.
• Your spouse carries a picture of the back of your head in their wallet because this is what they normally see.
• Sitemeter goes down and you have a panic attack.
• Your philosophy comes down to that there are two things in life – bloggable/unbloggable.
• You have a bumper sticker that says "I ♥ my Aggregator."
• When you have just got done reading 500 some posts your first instinct is to hit refresh to see if any more have been written.
• You don’t always remember your wedding anniversary but can instantly remember the year, month, day, and hour you started blogging.
• You are more concerned about comment spam than Homeland Security and while you are against the death penalty in general you think surely Trolls deserve the exception.
• The first thing you do when visiting a new blog is to see if your blog is on their blogroll. If not you try to find a post where you can immediately leave an intelligent and witty comment so that they will immediately add you.

Michael Linton at First Things on Bible Park U.S.A.

It all makes my head spin. A New York investment fund builds a Bible Park square on the buckle of the Bible Belt. Just as they hope to profit from folks interested in rock ‘n’ roll with their Myrtle Beach funland, here they hope to profit from folks interested in the Bible. But folks are interested in the Bible because they are religious and find religious answers to religious questions in this religious book. Yet the Bible park isn’t religious; that would be bad for business, because it would jeopardize the state subsidy (remember those “lower-risk, higher-reward investment opportunities”). So the holy stories are presented as secular “history” by costumed archeologists as its evangelists.

Doesn’t seem like a very smart risk strategy to alienate the very people you are targeting. Plus there are just so many ways such an endeavor would be just plain tacky.

I would like to a truly serious effort of a Biblically based theme park and here are some things I would like to see, though maybe my ideas are not that serious either.

• Elijah Flaming Chariot Roller Coaster Ride.
• A water ride where the Red Sea splits seconds before you think you are gong to get drenched.
• Jonah’s Whale Ride.
• Noah’s Ark Petting Zoo.
• A video game section that includes a First Person Smiter with Elijah and the priests on Mt. Carmel. Literally you would have a Baal.
• An Animatronics Hall of Prophets. Though you might have to have three different Isaiah’s or more to satisfy some Biblical scholars.
• Water fountains would all be disguised as rocks.
• Manna concession stand where any food sold would only have a shelf life of one day.
• Korah Earthquake Simulator. Though I guess the Earth opening up and swallowing you for disobedience might not appeal to all.
• Goliath Slingshot Gallery.
• St. Paul Wall Basket Ride.
• Deborah and Sisera Hi-Striker. This would be just like the amusement park game where you use a mallet to ring a bell. Instead you use a mallet to strike a tent peg through Sisera’s skull as Deborah did, though definitely not for the kiddies.

Those are just for starters. Though I would love a ride based on the Book of Revelation. This would be just like the It’s a Small World Disney Ride where you are taken through a world as seen via John’s eyes. I mean starting of with an Audio-Animatronic representation of "head and his hair were white as white wool, white as snow; his eyes were like a flame of fire.." would be quite cool. With all the angels, dragons, and assorted beasts it would be quite an eyeful not to mention a lamb as it was slain and Mary as the new Tabernacle. Though I guess with all of the interpretations of Revelation and the differences between many Protestant and Catholic views I guess you would have to set up different tracks for different groups. When they bought a ticket they would have to buy a Preterist, Futurist, Historicist, or Spiritual view ticket.

The daily Via Dolorosa parade through the park with the subsequent crucifixion might be a downer for many though.

Possibly to appeal to atheists they could incorporate a Spaghetti Monster Ride or serve Primordial Soup at the concession stands. Or in areas that display Biblical passages they could use the footnotes from the USCCB’s New American Bible, which would make many atheists happy.

Also cool would be to have representation of Catholic Heaven based on the Simpsons Episode. Now that would be fun.

Please pitch your own ideas for rides.