A reader sent me a links to a Seattle
Times contest to create works of “art” using peeps. Most of
them are pretty funny, though there is the same peep marriages one (for
the record I think uncivil unions are best for same-marshmallow peeps).
The Pope as Peep even makes an appearance in the Peep mobile.
You can checkout the slideshow (or is that peep show) here.
DONUTISM (Not to be confused with old
heresy known as Donatism) Donutism is the propensity for some Catholics
to leave their parish and join a denomination based on the quality of
the donuts and coffee that that is served before, after, and during
Sunday services.
Be sure to read Fr. V’s whole list.
Voting
in the Catholic Blog Awards for
2008 has already started a bit ago, but voting is open until
Monday of
Holy Week. I would like to thank those who voted for me in five
different categories and your check is in the mail.
I would though like to say something about
the other blogs in the humor category. Last year my negative campaign ad appears to
have been effective so I will give it another go.
- Alive and Young Now I have linked
to Paul Cat throughout the year and he is pretty funny with his
“Adventures in Catechesis” and “Not said by Jesus” series. But is humor
the only qualification for this category? Is just being alive
and young enough? And isn’t this a slur against middle age
men like myself. Does this imply that I am “Still alive and
not so young?” I think that he is an ageist and surely this should
disqualify him. - American Papist Yet another funny
blog with great commentary and brilliant photo captions. But
what is up with the “Not your average Catholic” tagline? Surely this is
the sin of pride from another young blogger with a superiority complex.
Plus notice how he puts the word “American” before the word
“Papist”? This is an obvious clue that he puts his
citizenship first before the Church. Papist American would
be much more preferable. - Canterbury Tales Another great
blog on things theological and apologetic. But why does this
former Episcopal priest think that the word Canterbury is appropriate
for his blog? Is there still some secret allegiance the the
Anglican Archbishop? - The Cafeteria is Closed I have
linked to Gerald plenty of times since his blog first opened up.
I enjoy his sometimes acerbic commentary, his whirlwind of
blogging multiple posts, and his great photography. But can
we truly trust someone who took their blog title from Maureen Dowd?
I think not. - Catholic Cartoon Blog Paul Nichols
is quite a talented cartoonist and keeps me laughing throughout the
year. But it saddens me to have to reveal to you that Paul is secretly
a charter member of the Cardinal Mahony Fan Club. - Creative Minority Report This is
in my opinion the best new blog of the year. The parody and
punditry of these two brothers is top notch and they are very inventive
and creative. Exactly what claim do they have to being a minority other
than being faithful Catholics? But how do we know that they are really
brothers? This could be one brilliant and creative individual with
multiple personalities. Brothers or a split personality – you
decide. - Danielle
Bean This is one funny mom with lots of great insights!
Though with the number of pictures she posts of her kids
on her blog you have to wonder about their effect on the
environment. The increased bandwidth obviously causes a
higher use of electricity at the server farm which leads to global
climate change and the death of your ancestors in the future.
Funny yes, but do you want to vote for someone killing off
your offspring? - Dyspectic Mutterings One of my all
time favorite blogs and when Dale fisks something it is a thing of
beauty. In fact I am quite jealous of his writing style.
So if you vote for him you will be leading me to sin and how
could you live with yourself after that. - Five Feet of Fury Kathy
Shaidle was the first Catholic blogger and
her headlines have been declared lethal in all fifty states.
In fact she makes more points in her headlines than most
people do in long posts. She should get a lifetime achievement awards
for things like “More abortion clinics have been bombed on Law in Order
than in real life.” But you shouldn’t waste your time voting
for her, you should be buying her books so that she can blog full time. - Happy Catholic One of the most
balanced Catholic blogs out there with great quotes, jokes, and
insights. A daily stop for me. I broke the news last year
that I had it on good authority that she once didn’t say grace before a
meal. This year though I found out that she is sometimes
distracted in prayer! Imagine that and repent of any thinking
of voting for Julie. - June Cleaver after a six pack This
is a new blog to me and surely this is one of the greatest blog titles
ever. But if you vote for this homeschooling mother and Air Force wife
you will only encourage her and she will blog more and then her
children will suffer from lack of attention and grow up to be
miscreants. - Off
the Record Diogenes has long been one of my
favorite commenters. But what is up with Uncle Di being
anonymous? Just what does he have to hide? Many
think that he must be a priest and must keep a low profile because of
his commentary. For all we know he could be an albino monk
assassin. - Orthometer Funny title, funny
priest. I always enjoy when Fr. Richtsteig posts and he lists some
solid reason for voting for him. But what would
happen to his humility if he were to win this award? So save father’s
spiritual life and don’t vote for him. - Some Have Hats Another one of my
favorite blogs and Karen Hall sure can
write. She also writes at the group blog Some Wear Clerics where I
sometimes guess post at and is also listed in the humor
category. But
is it really fair for a screenwriter with such great credits as
writing for MASH should be allowed to compete against us amateur?
Isn’t this like Mario Andretti showing up at a Soapbox Derby? - Spirit of Vatican II “Catholic” Faith
Community Many think this is a hilarious parody blog that
mocks progressives. Well that is the way it started, but they have
spiraled out of control. Like a spy who has gone into deep
cover for so long that he has forgotten his real personality, the same
thing has happened to the authors there. To save their souls you must
not vote for this blog! - Standing on My Head One of my
favorite books is Fr. Dwight Longenecker “Adventures in
Orthodoxy” and his blog shows the same humor and uncommon “common
sense.” But maybe you are not aware of the Zuchetto schism
and how he is willing the leave the Church over a hat. Can you trust a
man willing to disobey the magisterium over head ware? Maybe standing
on your head too long does that to you. - The Crescat Great sense of humor
and quite a funny blog. But just how many people were
permanently blinded when she ran the worst vestment contest? - The Ironic Catholic Another blog I
have linked to a lot and is one of the few pure humor blogs out there
in St. Blogs. No commentary just laughs. Theological humor
and funny pictures for captions. But often her humor is not
ironic! Or is the irony that her humor is not always ironic?
This makes my brain heart so don’t vote for her or her
husbands occasional contributions or that Alanis Morissette
song on irony will become an earworm you can’t get rid of. - The Shrine of the Holy Whapping
Another funny group blog that has stood the test of time. But
opposition research has revealed that they snack on meat on Fridays
during Lent! - Seraphic Singles Now I must admit
at first I thought this was a hook up site for angels – Kind of a
AngelMatch.com. Imagine my surprise to find it is from the perspective
of the life of a single Catholic woman and her often quite funny
observations on her life. You can get a good idea on her sense of humor
with her Ten Great Things About Being
Single. . But if you vote for her and she becomes
more popular and as a result even gets married, then we will lose this
funny blog. - What
does the prayer really say Certainly Fr. Z’s blog
is addictive and has become one of the favorite blogs of a large chunk
of Catholic readers. Who can’t love a priest who comes up
with “Save the liturgy, save he world”? His fisks and Latin
translations make him a must read. But is he really funny?
Just because he goes by the first initial in his last name
and does clever things like put out a Podzcast does that make him
funny? It just might be that he has some kind of initial
syndrome. For example what does he call his site but “W.D.T.P.R.S”
Does he have some unnatural attachment to initials?
There are also many other blogs that I did
not reference. I
just ran out of money for opposition research.
I’m the Curt Jester and I approve this
message.
Update:
American Papist has responded to
my charges in a populist way saying “I am not your average Catholic
and neither are you!” Everybody can not be above average or
the mathematical law of averages becomes nonsense. Let me ask
you if you made an important call at 3:00 A.M to the American Papist do
you think that he could say something funny at a moments notice.
I have the experience to be funny from day one!
Alive and Young has also responded.
I would respond to his angry post but my blog is all about
hope and change. The Curt Jester – Humor you can believe in.
Douglas, Arizona (ROTO REUTERS) There has
been a recent controversy of
the effectiveness of the Boeing Company erecting a “virtual fence”
along 6,000 miles of the U.S. border. Critics have said that
surveillance by the government’s $2.5 billion Secure Border Initiative
Network or SBInet leaves a lot of holes and will do little to reduce
illegal immigration.
Boeing proposes to construct a necklace of
1,800 towers equipped with
cameras, sensors and links to sophisticated computers along the
nation’s vast frontiers with Mexico and Canada. Boeing
proposes to construct a necklace of 1,800 towers equipped with cameras,
sensors and links to sophisticated computers along the nation’s vast
frontiers with Mexico and Canada.
News came today though of a surprising
capture that was the result of the new virtual fence technology.
It can be now revealed that a previously unknown terror cell
headed by Afghani Bhati Al-Boya has been broken up and their leader
detained.
Virtual terrorist Bhati Al-Boya was detected by the new
virtual fence and was prevented from entering the country.
Initial reports are that Bhati Al-Boya is a half-life
character that was intent on entering the country illegally and then
going to a computer cafe or library to enter the Second Life virtual
world and commit acts of terrorism.
Second Life a huge virtual universe where
real world dollars are spent by individuals and organizations
and disruption to normal play operations can do
real monetary damage. Virtual characters can easily assume
false identities known as Avatars that can make finding and arresting
virtual characters difficult.
To hold suspected virtual terrorist Bhati
Al-Boya a special virtual cell is being made at the Guantanamo Bay
detention camp where currently a firewall is being put into place.
These plans are being protested by the Virtual Character
Liberties Union (VCLU) who reject the power to detain
suspected virtual terrorists indefinitely, without charge, trial or a
right to counsel. Virtual enemy combatants should have access
to the courts and the the Bush administration does not have statutory
power to detain these virtual individuals.
Catholic Minority Report has a video of
Charles Barkley calling conservatives “Fake Christians” and
announcing how proud he is to be pro-gay and pro-abortion.
I heard the clip last night on Hugh
Hewitt’s show with Barkley going on and on that they are fake
Christians because they are commanded not to judge and that they do
indeed judge. Often it seems among those that are of a
liberal persuasion that they only Bible verse they seem to know is the
one about judging others. Often they are all about shades of
gray and nothing being simply black and white, yet when it comes to
this verse they become the most ardent fundamentalist and a “single
scripture thumper.”
Somehow though when they make the claims
of Christians being hypocrites
for judging others is that they never seem to see they irony that they
are judging that Christians are judging others.
I love when Alice Von Hildebrand talks
about here days of teaching in a
university and the conversations she would have with her students.
When one complained that she was judging her she replied “How
dare you judge that I was judging you!”
Now this does not mean that Christians
have blanket approval to judge others. Certainly we can never
make judgments as to someone’s eternal destiny and especially need to
totally avoid rash judgments. As the late and great Fr.
Hardon, S.J. notes:
…Where the rash judgment begins is at
the point where we go beyond the
evidence available to judge the culpability of the action, attribute
evil motives, and decide against the character or moral integrity of
the person whose conduct we observed.
The sinfulness of rashly judging people, therefore, arises from two
sources: the hasty imprudence with which a critical judgment is
reached, and the loss of reputation that the person suffers in our
estimation because we have judged him adversely.
…
In order to control this inveterate tendency to praise ourselves and
blame others, it is necessary to leave both ourselves and others in
God’s hands and trust that, in the final judgment, the truth will then
appear. Those who deserve to be rewarded will receive the merit they
had earned; those who are to be punished will be visited by their just
deserts. In the meantime, i.e., during our mortal stay on earth, all
definitive judgments about people, whether ourselves or others, are
premature. Only God at the end of time has the right to decide
conclusively about the human heart.
But certainly we must judge the morality
of human acts.
A conscience without judgment is no conscience at all and it
is a
properly formed conscience that is best able to judge. First
and
foremost we must judge are own moral actions. But it would be
impossible to follow St. Paul’s maxim “”Bad company ruins good morals.”
if we couldn’t judge the actions of others and to determine that they
were bad company. It would also be impossible to pray for the
conversion of others if we could not judge. The Reductio ad
absurdum of this is quite obvious on any serious reflection and Charles
Barkley as a moral theologian is a good basketball player.
Thinking on this subject here is a product
I would like to see and could sure use at times.
 St.Johnson and & St. Johnson’s introduces the product you have been waiting for. Have you ever broke out in a rash judgment? If so you will love Rash Judgment Creme. Rash Judgments often leave you irritable and at times even your face turns red when you breakout in an angry rash judgment. Rash judgments are caused by contact hastititis and can only be cured You will be surprised at how much happier you will be when your rash Warning: |
Very few of us will walk up to someone
today and greet him or her with the words, Happy St. Cyrils Day, or
even Happy Cyrils Day. And surely no one will tell their sweetheart
to Be my Methodius.
And yet, today the universal Church commemorates Sts. Cyril and
Methodius, not St. Valentine, notwithstanding the latters
larger-than-life appeal.
Sts. Cyril and Methodius, brothers from what in biblical times was
known as Thessalonica, were ninth-century missionaries to the Slavic
people in Eastern Europe. Not only did they learn the oral language of
the people, but they developed an alphabet and written language so that
the Bible and liturgical texts could be translated into the living
language of the people. They were truly remarkable men of God.
Leon Suprenant has a good point especially
since we have no idea which St. Valentine this day is named after.
Surely Sts. Cyril and Methodius are much
more cool being brother Bishops and brothers and how many
people have invented a language that is still used today?
Their missionary work and the spread of the Gospel surely
warrant more attention than they get on the memorial. But
then again considering performances of the Vagina Monologue, official
New York City brand condom giveaways, and all the other nonsense that
goes on this day – I bet they are happy to take a back seat
to St. Valentine and quite happy that this stuff does not get
attributed to them. Though we might want to give a shout out
to the St. Valentine and commiserate with him because surely if he
wasn’t in the Beatific Vision he would be a little down today.
SINGAPORE (Reuters) – Want to use Jesus hand cream? Well, you can’t anymore. At least not in Singapore.
A Singapore-based retailer pulled a line of cheeky Jesus branded cosmetics from its shelves after complaints from irate Catholics, the local newspaper reported on Tuesday.
The cosmetics, called "Lookin’ Good for Jesus", is made by American makeup company Blue Q. It was sold in three Topshop outlets in Singapore.
Wing Tai Holdings, which manages the Topshop brand in the city-state, pulled the items off its shelves late last month after some customers complained, the Straits Times newspaper reported.
"We don’t want to offend our customers," a company spokesman was quoted by the paper as saying.
Reuters could not get a comment from Wing Tai as its offices were closed for the Lunar New Year holiday.
…Some of the products sold include, a "virtuous vanilla" lip balm, hand and body cream and a mirrored Jesus statuette. They feature a drawing of Jesus flanked by two adoring women and carry slogans such as "Get tight with Christ", "Get His Attention" and "Redeem Your Reputation and More".
Here a product line that wasn’t well thought out. The Jesus "Show me the money" wallet is certainly one of the strangest product combinations I have ever seen.
But Lookin’ good for Jesus does not exactly fit "But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” Though if you really want to be "Lookin’ good for Jesus" then the confessional is the perfect beauty salon. Even better in the confessional you don’t need Jesus Bubble Bath to wash away your sins.
Reuters has a slideshow of the odd products.
I ran this test last year so you can check your progress
Funny how tomorrow this post will elicit no reaction.
Winston Churchill made no secret of his
love of brandy and cigars; Margaret Thatcher was bereft without her
handbag, and Pope Benedict XVI, I can reveal, has Fanta.
When the Archbishop of York, John Sentamu, visited the Vatican this
week, he gave the Holy See a case of Holy Grail beer, brewed in North
Yorkshire. The Pope, however, opted instead for the orange stuff.
“He doesn’t normally drink,” Catholic priest Fr Tim Finigan tells Spy.
“He prefers Fanta. I’m not really sure why, perhaps because it was
originally created in Germany.”
And what does Fanta make of its most famous customer?
“We’re very flattered,” says a spokesman for Coca-Cola, which produces
the fizzy drink.
So might the Pope be fronting its next campaign? “I don’t think so,” he
adds. “He’s not quite right for our target audience.”
Well the Pope is right for all target
audiences, but I don’t think we
want to see him with Fantanas saying “Don’t You Wanta Fanta? “
Fr. Finigan who was quoted maintains an excellent blog here.