Humor

Creative Minority Report came up with:

To help the Los Angeles archdiocese pay off the “crippling debt” accrued from sexual abuse settlements, Cardinal Roger Mahony will soon announce that his new $200 million Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels in downtown Los Angeles will now be called Auto Zone’s Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels.

Mahony said the unobtrusive naming rights are the best way to ease its financial recovery from the settlements.

According to the March 14 Tidings, the archdiocesan newspaper, from two sexual abuse settlements – last year’s “global settlement” of 508 cases and a December 2006 settlement of 45 cases – the archdiocese has agreed to pay $720 million over the next few years. That coupled with the skyrocketing costs of the Cathedral inspired the naming rights breakthrough.

Mahony said the Church will be back in the black soon enough, after this idea.

A few other "untraditional" changes to the Cathedral is a bowl of holy water which is kept near each entrance to the church will have a small tasteful sign underneath that "Evian" is the official water used for holy water.

…

Actually if they did sell the name of the Cathedral in L.A. I am sure Progressive Auto Insurance would be an apt sponsor.

Ian of Aquinas and More has started a group humor blog called Stuff Catholics Like with several contributors from the funny side of St. Blogs. My first contribution to this blog is posted.

If Barach Obama was part of the Congregation for Divine Worship that selected patron saints than surely St. Gabriel Possenti would be at the top of the list for clinging to religion and guns. And coming form the small town of Assisi, Italy does him no favors in Obama’s eyes.

Funky Dung sent me a link to a funny poster of the Pope based on the Obama "Hope" poster. Goes perfectly with my The Audacity of Pope.

Remember the reporter who confused "crows ear" with crozier?
Well here is a pretty funny one.

VOA’s Jeff Swicord drew an admittedly crummy assignment: reporting on the latest shenanigans put on by the "woman priest" crowd. But what should have been a routine serving of empty drivel went l.o.l. funny when Swicord attributed to an Opus Dei priest the following comment on the maleness and the priesthood: "’The church teaches that he [the priest] does this in what is called insomnia nomini Christa, that he does this in the name and the person of Jesus,’ says [Fr. Arne] Panula. Jesus was male."

A priest acts "insomnia nomini Christa"? That is screamingly funny. It doesn’t mean a thing, folks. The closest I can get is "lack of sleep to/for the name Christina".

But apparently it’s not just Opus Dei priests who don’t know Latin, it’s lady priestettes too: Writes Swicord: "Meehan disagrees. ‘A priest is suppose to be in personi Christa,’ she says. ‘That does not mean taking on male identity.’"

Okay, maybe Father Bridget Mary meant to say "in gobbledy-gook Christina" but I’ll bet she didn’t; she knows the Latin phrase here is "in persona Christi", which correctly translates as "in the person of Christ."

Paul Nichols is always good for a laugh and this is perfect.

The Crescat is holding a caption contest for a photo she has
but I doubt if anyone can top her “when liturgical dancers get
‘raptured’…” Though Sancte Pater has improved on the original
photo for a good laugh.

People who pull on to the Church by the
Glades campus in Coral Springs, FL this Easter weekend will be greeted by friendly volunteers, fresh Krispy Kreme donuts, freshly-brewed Starbucks coffee and Judya 9,000 pound Indian
elephant.  It is all part of their new relationship series entitled Rehab.

The purpose?

Week one of the series is about denial, said Pastor David
Hughes.  Many relationships suffer due to a denial of the elephant in the rooman obvious misplaced priority or passion that the people involved refuse to acknowledge and deal with.

Here at Church by the Glades, we value creative communication, Hughes
added.  He believes that having a real, live elephant there as
people enter the property will grab their attention from the moment they arrive.

We are always trying to find fun ways to engage people and start the
teaching time from the moment people drive onto our property, said Hughes.
History shows that Church by the Glades is in the habit of doing
creative things to
draw people to their church.  They have used iPhones, iTunes
gift cards, Hannah Montana tickets and Nintendo Wiis to promote teaching series in the
past.

No not the Onion, but an actual press
release forwarded to me from
target=”_blank”>Dawn Eden concerning
href=”http://cbglades.com/” target=”_blank”>this
church.  They certainly have a slick web site.
Most web sites for Catholcs churches are not exactly Web 2.0,
more likely Web .6 beta.  You can always tell you are on a web
site for a Catholic church because when you click on the bulletin link
it either doesn’t work or gives you a bulletin from last year.

I guess though for this Florida church
that they can do a whole
series with animals.

• Grab one Camel and one needle or you’re all set to do
  another example.  One hump or two.
• Then there is the Lion and the Lamb one to demonstrate that
  we are not there yet.  This one would not be for the faint of
  heart.
• Roll in a giant whale tank to do a sermon on Jonah.
  Camping out for three days inside the whale first might be
  rather iffy though.
• Obviously there is the whole Ark thing and you can rent out
  the contents of the local zoo for a demonstration.
• Snakes are pretty versatile for exegesis.  One day
  you got Genesis, and Moses gives you lots of snake flexibility.
  Then of course there are the Gospel example with Paul getting
  bit and the picking up snake stuff that some Churches already cover.

I wonder if they advertise for a sacristine
with good shovel skills?

I am not surprised they have increased
church attendance by 40 percent in one year with giving out prizes in
teaching series. If you are going church shopping well why not pick one
with Starbucks coffee,  Krispy Creme donuts, and
iPhone contests?

And of course rock worship music and
everything you need to make you feel at home (if you live in a
Mall)
means:

A RELEVENT CHURCH
Though possessing the ultimate truth, the Church is often guilty of
dumbing down and dulling down the life-altering message of Jesus
Christ.  Lost in confusing jargon, bogged down in doctrinal
minutia – simply said – the church has not stayed current.

Nothing like an Elephant and Hannah
Montana tickets to keep the
church current.

A reader sent me a links to a Seattle
Times contest to create works of “art” using peeps.  Most of
them are pretty funny, though there is the same peep marriages one (for
the record I think uncivil unions are best for same-marshmallow peeps).
 The Pope as Peep even makes an appearance in the Peep mobile.
 You can checkout the slideshow (or is that peep show) here.

DONUTISM (Not to be confused with old
heresy known as Donatism) Donutism is the propensity for some Catholics
to leave their parish and join a denomination based on the quality of
the donuts and coffee that that is served before, after, and during
Sunday services.

Be sure to read Fr. V’s whole list.