Sometimes at Mass, the Eucharist gets caught in one of my teeth.
So of course I have pondered the cons and pros of this.
On the pro side: Since the Eucharist will end up being more slowly digested it is with me longer. Today I thought of this being a Toothernacle.
Con, it just doesn’t seem quite appropriate for me. So I try to dislodge it away with my tongue. Sometimes it seems quite stuck and I would be tempted to use a toothpick. Yet I do not want to become like Longinus.
I was sure this was a joke when I saw this:
“The Blessed Mother™ V2 births a classic OD sound with power from the Most High. Her supernatural combination of germanium and silicon diodes generates a uniquely raw, yet velvety tone. She features an adjustable transparency function: The Immaculator. This lets you preserve or purify the sound’s original grit to your liking.”
“The Mother is a splendid first stage OD or clean boost. She plays well with others, is true bypass, and has a powerful treble and bass control range. She takes 9v or 18v DC. And yes, her halo and heart light up…cuz God’s mom deserves it.”
Turns out that Heather Brown use to work with others building boutique guitar pedals and designed and built this one on her own. Apparently, this pedal has been selling for several years and there are lots of five-star reviews.
Sold on the site godsmom.com
I use the Line 6 Helix for guitar effects, but I bought this because how could I resist?
Besides, based on the seller’s page this seems to be made more as a tribute to the BVM and is not intended to mock.
I am going through a phase where I do not feel close to Jesus at all.
Yet I am super-interested in philosophy, theology, liturgy, etc.
I guess I am going through a Dork Night of the Soul.
My joke has a grain of truth as far as it goes. I have never had a pietistic emotional attachment to Jesus. More of an intellectual attachment to Christ. One that only grows in my certitude. I would like it if my emotions lined up with my intellect (such as it is), but still am filled with thankfulness and gratitude to where he has brought me so far. So being too abstract intellectually is a cross for me, especially as I read the various Carmelite saints.
Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen is offering “insurance” for its flounder sandwich. If the flounder doesn’t suit customers’ palates, then they can replace it with chicken. The Cajun-seasoned flounder filet, which will be a contestant on our upcoming fish sandwich review, is expected to be a staple of the Popeyes menu for the six weeks leading up to Easter.
The insurance option is only available on Thursday, February 18 (and only when purchased through the Popeyes app). The idea is that those who are going meatless on Friday can test out the flounder on Thursday. Since no one would want a fish sandwich replaced with chicken on an abstinence day, they are only offering the promotion for one day. The insurance costs 15 cents, which should still keep the sandwich under $5.
More proof that Popeyes is pronounced “Pope Yes”
“It may seem a singular observation to say that we are not generous enough to write great satire. This, however, is approximately a very accurate way of describing the case. To write great satire, to attack a man so that he feels the attack and half acknowledges its justice, it is necessary to have a certain intellectual magnanimity which realizes the merits of the opponent as well as his defects. This is, indeed, only another way of putting the simple truth that in order to attack an army we must know not only its weak points, but also its strong points. England in the present season and spirit fails in satire for the same simple reason that it fails in war: it despises the enemy.”
(Pope and the Art of Satire – Twelve Types 1903)
This is quintessential Chesterton who indeed lived this intellectual magnanimity. What we now most often have is just pure snark delivered in a point-scoring manner.
Reading Chesterton for me is like a daily examen of conscience.
From the same essay:
“Have we really learnt to think more broadly? Or have we only learnt to spread our thoughts thinner?”
So on Twitter there started a series of jokes with the pattern “I have a … joke, but ..” with a related ending.
Catholic Twitter picked up on this with their own take.
So this was my first set.
- I have a Carmelite joke, but I am not attached to it.
- I have a Franciscan joke, but it is rather poor.
- I have a Dominican joke, but it is for the dogs.
- I have a Jesuit joke, but it can’t be said in dissent company.
- I have a Benedictine joke, but it’s poisonous.
- I have a Trappist joke, but I can’t speak of it.
- I have a Paulist joke, I will tell it if you press me.
- I have a Salesians joke, I kid you not.
- I have a Missionaries of Charity joke, but you will be sari to hear it.
Then later a couple more.
- I had a joke about a plenary indulgence, but nobody got it.
- I had a joke about receiving Communion, but my Bishop disallowed it because it was tongue-in-cheek.
A quick sampling of others I found:
- I have a good Dante joke but you have to go through hell to get to punchline. Jenna @JennaSaisQuoi87
- I have a killer memento mori joke. Sr. Theresa Aletheia
- I have an Aquinas joke and five responses to that joke and Aquinas’ response to each of those responses @Japesentner
- I have a joke about abortionists, but it will suck the life out of you… Obianuju Ekeocha@obianuju
- I have a joke about Pentecostalism but you can’t understand it. @becominghinged
- I have a St. Stephen joke, but I have to be stoned to tell it. @EyeOfTheTiber
- i have a joke about St. Peter in chains, but it escapes me @DenverGregg
- I have a joke about accidents, but you wouldn’t understand the substance. @ShamelessPapist
- I have a joke about apostolic succession but the sedevacantists tell me it peters out. @DawnofMercy
- I have a joke about eternity but I can’t tell it to you because it has no beginning and no end. @DawnofMercy
- I have a joke about the GIRM but most people probably wouldn’t follow it. @CantareAmantis
- I have a good Tolkien joke but I’m going to spend the rest of my life expanding on and revising it and my son will have it published after my death. @TeawithTolkien
I learned of this joke format via Deacon Greydanus on Facebook and these were his contributions.
I have a joke about St. Jerome but it’s vulgar.
I have a joke about Donald Glover but it’s childish.
I have a joke about St. Francis but it’s for the birds.
I have a joke about Longinus and his companions, but it’s dicey.
I have a joke about St. Francis de Sales but it’s controversial.
I have a joke about Magritte’s pipe. This isn’t it.*
I posted a joke yesterday about St. Augustine but I had to retract it.
I have a joke about Johann Reuchlin but it’s too obscure.**
I have a Baudrillard joke but it’s not original.*
* Updated! This joke is now true as well as funny.
Man, is it ever
*** Not in fact true
I have seen some outcry over this on social media.
Personally, I like that Cardinal Schönborn is reaching out to the Nephilim. I mean if you’re a biblical giant where can you hang your sweater to drip-dry?
Although, I hold the line at Nephilim ugly Christmas sweater contests.
Also, I don’t know if the Nephilim are responsible for this.
“Some of his sculptures can also be seen in the church or in front of the cathedral, mainly in disfigured or deformed form, such as a boxing glove, deformed houses, a body without a head, hands and feet, and bags on legs. At the Singertor there is a large hot water bottle on its feet, called “Big Mother”.”
Plus in my odd imagination, I can imagine that the guy who threw Pachamama into the Tiber might be making a visit to Vienna. I can also imagine him singing Weezer’s “Undone – The Sweater Song” while grabbing a thread.
“If you want to destroy my sweater Hold this thread as I walk away”
Source Catholic Answer’s Forum
That message this year questions “peace on earth”, since Jesus represents migrant children being held at the southern border separated from their parents.
The wise men are the caravan of migrants behind the border wall. They believe it’s very much the message of Jesus. “Jesus was about taking care of one another. This is not the way to take care of one another,” said Fr. Josoma.
“We’re not trying to scandalize anyone,” said parishioner Pat Ferrone, a member of the Pax Christi committee which came up with the idea for the display. “We’re trying to reflect back a reality that has to be looked at.”
The nativity scene in Dedham has a baby Jesus in a cage, calling attention to immigration at the U.S.-Mexico border. (WBZ-TV)
But mixing politics with religion isn’t sitting well with some who believe the nativity scene has crossed a line. “This is where you come to pray not to be preached at what you should think about politics,” said Helen Watson who drove to church to see the display.
Fr. Josoma insists the scene is not a dig at Trump administration policies. Instead of political activism he calls it gospel activism. “We talk about Matthew 25 feeding the hungry and welcoming the stranger.” Source
I am outraged! Everybody knows for Catholic you don’t put out the Baby Jesus in a cage until Christmas Eve. Gee, what were they thinking?
Actually, the only Baby Jesus’ I worship are cage-free, free-range, and organic.
