Humor

MANILA, Philippines – Catholic bishops are sending their prayers for the eternal repose of Dolphy, with one bishop calling on God to appoint the Philippines’ comedy king as a court jester in heaven.

“We pray for the repose of his soul. His death reminds us that there is an end to our life. It is important that we discover and develop the talents the Lord had given us for the service of others and thank Him,” said Cubao Bishop Honesto Ongtioco in a report from CBCP News.

Archbishop Angel Lagdameo, former president of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines, said Dolphy was an inspiration to Filipinos.

“We thank God for the gift of Dolphy who served the country with his more than 2009 films, making all kinds of viewers cry and laugh through their shared experiences in life. He was a classic entertainer. May he rest in peace,” he said.

Sorsogon Bishop Arturo Bastes said: “I and many of my clergy are saddened by the death of the comedy king. We pray that the Lord will bring him soon to His kingdom and appoint Dolphy as His court jester to make heaven a merrier state.” [Source]

Boy do I want that job as Heaven’s Court Jester. After all my plans have been cracking up God for years.

That DC Comics went down the road of political correctness announcing the Green Lantern was actually same-sex attracted is no surprise.  Though I wonder if homosexual activists will be offended they got only a B-list superhero?  When will we get the Lesbian, Transgendered, and Questioning superheroes?

Though this slippery slope actually occurred quite awhile ago when we started allowing aliens to date our women. Yet there was no outrage at this when DC Comics first did this and made aliens dating our women mainstream.  I am of course referring to Superman who certainly was an alien and even if humanoid had no business dating our women.

Putting on my speculative theology thinking cap it seems to me that since Superman obviously had non-human DNA he would not be able to successfully reproduce and thus would be incapable of marriage. Thus by nature he was incapable of marriage and had no business dating human women.  Same-sex marriage has the same defect of alien-human marriage in that it not marriage at all.  Though some might think it fine to compromise with alien-human unions as long as they don’t call it marriage, though I would not.  There was another slippery slope when DC Comics also created a metahuman clone of Superman named Superboy. Though I shouldn’t just pick on Superman since Supergirl also dated humans.  So should we be surprised that DC Comics who gave us cloning and human-alien romantic attraction would give us also the same-sex attracted Green Lantern?

Now of course this post is mostly tongue-in-cheek but of course our acceptance of Superman gave us Captain Kirk and his lusts for green-tinged women in bikinis.

The Dalai Lama attended Mass on Pentecost

Now I just have to wonder if there will be radical traditionalist Tibetan Buddhists who will be complaining about this for years to come?

I just have to love a Cardinal that does this.  Though I am sending my sidekick application in since surely a superhero can use a sidekick and one that provides comic relief.  Though considering Cardinal Dolan’s good humor and wit it would be pretty hard to provide any comic relief that he is not supplying himself.

Hat tip Whispers in the Loggia where you can download a much larger image along with the text of his Commencement Address at the Catholic University of America.

Post Modern Dictionary: “Evolution” – Being forced to say what you already believed based on a gaffe by somebody else.

In other words when it comes to the President I don’t believe in “evolution.”

Also when it comes to the President’s policies I don’t believe in “intelligent design” either.

In fact when it comes to the economy he is also not a job “creationist.”

I can’t even describe his policies as “Punctuated equilibrium“, though perhaps the term “hopeful monster” fits better.

A British Bishop claims that the Bible can provide invaluable support.. for those who want to use a better password online.

The Bishop of Rochester in Kent, is urging his congregation this Easter to use Bible quotations to help them remember their website passwords.

According to The Right Reverend James Langstaff, “The Bible offers a life-long source of new passwords, that can include both upper and lower case letters and numbers to help create memorable, secure passwords.”

The Bishop has suggested that users choose their favourite passage from the Bible, take the first letter from each word in the quote, and then append the chapter and verse.

For instance,

“Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” Luke Chapter 23 Verse 46.

creates a password of

FiyhIcmsL23V46

So HwJ11V35 Would be the shortest password for “He wept” – Gospel of John, chapter 11, verse 35.

For a more secure password:
TtkingswcatttitmsotttdotmaiwwatatmcttjandtothesatgapotpwariteohtsptepatiwatepitlattjinwaitlE8V9 for the longest verse of the Bible Ester 8:9

The password for Tim Tebow and a host of others would of course be FGsltwthghobstwbihsnpbhelJ3V16.

Now of course as a password scheme this is better than using “password” , “123456”, or monkey – but of course it would be easily susceptible to hacker attacks if the scheme became common as dictionary phrase lists of popular verses could easily be used.  Traditionalist Catholics could be easily hacked using a Vulgate-based dictionary attack. Liberal Christians would be susceptible to their favorite bible verses involving non-judgement in them. People who subscribe to King James Version Onlyism would make it easy for hackers since they would only need one version.

It does make me wonders what Jesus would use as a password?  He is pretty awesome at keeping some things secret when he wants to.  For example what he wrote in the sand during the case of the women caught in adultery is still unknown. In fact if I make it to Heaven that is one thing I am sure to ask him.  Though he would probably tell me “No one knows the  letter,  number, or Nonalphanumeric characters used, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.