Papal mail

Thanks for the addy.

Long live the Pope!

You may be a conservative and I may be a liberal, but you sure come up with some funny ones!!!

“Wish you were here?”

*cracks up*

April 18, 2005 � Is it a water stain on the wall of an expressway viaduct? Or is it a vision of the Virgin Mary? Or a Urine stain left by a wandering drunk? That’s what more and more people are asking about an unusual image that has formed on a Fullerton Avenue underpass on the Kennedy Expressway.

Several people flocked in droves to the concrete wall to see for themselves. Truck Loads of Candles, Teddy Bears, Flower Arrangements have arrived by the millions. Some stared and others pulled out their cameras. Fat people where everywhere! Meanwhile, others set-up Concession Stands. The Aroma of Hot Dogs and Sandalwood fill the surrounding area. Believers say it shows the Virgin Mary with her hands folded in prayer. Others stood around in tears, begging for mercy and beating themselves in the back with straps! Some of the visitors prayed to themselves, for deliverance. One lady, even wanted to offer-up her Son, as burnt offering!

“To me I think it’s a vision of the Virgin Mary. At least it better be…… I surely didn’t drive all this way, just for a Pee stain! For me, it is Mary! I can actually feel it in my body. It’s the same feeling I get, when I say the words, “CHARGE IT!”,” said Glendy Roonant, believes image is Virgin Mary.

“I saw a reflection of the Virgin Mary. Yes, it is real,” said Nickley Ball, “It spoke to me. I believe it’s the image of Virgin Mary. Mary is so beautiful. I even kissed and licked the image.”

To others, it’s something caused by road salt or maybe just a water stain. Perhaps even a Vomit stain. Scientists around the Globe have been called in to, do their “thing”. PETA was milling-around too! They want to protect all the Rats, and Squirrels that live under viaducts. They may even try to get a “injunction” to stop the prayers-so the critters can go on with the peaceful existence.

“Then, there’s the problem with the Bats too!” A Spokes person for PETA, said. “We don’t feel comfortable around them but, the priests are handling it they best they can.” While the Nuns, swat at them with their Palm Fronds, and rosary bead necklaces. The Priest chase them off by, holding up crucifixes and tossing their magic water around and shouting, “BACK! BACK! In the name of the Pope, Rat!” Also, some Nuns are removing their Girdles and flinging them around!”

“I don’t know about a water stain…..it sure smells like Pee to me, under this Over-pass. But, I really couldn’t say… One Priest threatened me and told me to say it was “Mary” or I’d be found dead by Thursday.” said Jane Opilachsky, non-believer.

Over night, in different lighting, the image was a bit easier to see. For those who believe it’s as clear as a photograph, faith fills in the empty spaces. ” Know for a fact this is Mother Mary! My Son had Polio and when I threw him out of the car near the image, He was able to walk back home 17 hours later, un-helped. Mary said to me, “I’ll whip up something-leave him!” Nancy Blake, believer.

“I had to pull over because lately, the Virgin Mary is on the wall. She’s on the wall and I was curious and at the same time kind of scared, at first I thought it resembled a GIANT Vagina! But later, realized it wasn’t. Later, I was left, wondering why she’s there and what’s her reason for being there? But later, I’m going to have to leave. Then later, I’ll come back,” said Annetta Byrd, believer.

To some people this is a shrine but to the Illinois Department of Transportation it’s a problem. The mysterious image is located at an accident investigation site for crashes on the Kennedy. “The Ten million-already lit candles make it difficult, while driving by.” said, Bubba and Cooter. They continue, “We were,….we were, skinning Rabbits’ and there it was……” One spectator was even quoted of saying, “At night with all these candles burning, one would think it was an Airport Landing Strip. Just last night, a TWR Airliner landed right over there! 20 minutes later all the Passengers where wandering-around in circles, holding their suitcases. I heard one of them say, �Hey, wait a minute! This ain�t Hawaii?”�

“At first it was thought the image would have to be removed so the people would leave. But not now, now the image stays and so do the believers. Tents, Campers and RV’s, clutter the surrounding area. Also, Bar-B-Q�s and Porta-Johns are all lined up! The National Guard has been called in to, “Monitor” the Porta-Johns. Gay activity was been noticed around them and men are being arrested for lewd and Lascivious behavior, left and right! I even heard, they’re considering building a Low-income Apartment Complex nearby, and a red light for the traffic from those who want to worship her. A StarBucks may even come in here! I saw the Blue Prints, right over there on some guys Car Hood.” Ted G. Liddy, believer.
Another group that was called in from, out of state were the Beaver County Mitilia. They were asked to be here just in case�.those sneaky Amish show up from one of their many secret tunnels. �What tipped me off regarding those Amish folk were-there was a few Rakes left about�..and I smelled Cow Manure too!� Said, Karl L., Local Pastor

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