Spot the workshop

There is a somewhat amusing Congress Instant Workshop Generator at the home page for the Religious Education Congress and it generated the following from the questions it asked.

Combining liturgy with rugby in today’s world

Internationally renowned speaker Curt Jester will demonstrate his fascinating, in-depth knowledge of Blogging. Jester employs the unusual methodology of combining his Blogging expertise with the sport of rugby, from which Curt has coined the termed " Skunk". Curt has appeared on the TV show Stargate SG1 and on EWTN radio, delivering the now-famous line " More than a job it’s an adventure." Jester will also sing a number of songs, including the theme song from Stargate SG1, since it has been a very important part of his life.

About Curt Jester
Even though Curt Jester has only been considered an expert for 66 days and 45 minutes, his grasp of the subject is uncanny. Curt is a sought-after author, contributing to publications like This Rock and National Catholic Register newspaper. Jester grew up in the small, lesser-known town of Jacksonville, Florida, currently resides in Hawaii but has plans to return and settle in Philippines next year. Jester holds numerous degrees, including those of B.A., B.S., M.A., Ph.D., and the prestigious C.F.

Though it does make you wonder if some of the actual congress workshops were similarly generated – that at least would be the most charitable diagnosis of the following real examples.

Enter the Journey! Exploring the “Liturgical School Year”
Well-known liturgical dancer and choreographer Donna Anderle has served on liturgy committees for several national associations and conferences. Anderle co-founded “The Good News Company,” a touring group, and operates her own dance studio. Presently, she is Assistant Liturgy Director at Summit Country Day School in Cincinnati, Ohio, and teaches at the Cincinnati Ballet Company as well as at Northern Kentucky University.

Six Steps to Cultivate the Creative Catechist

Mystagogical Catechesis at the Heart of Catechumenal Ministry

The Mission-Driven Parish: Hope for the Future Faithful Remnant

Multiple Intelligences for Personal Changes

God and the Sandwich Generation

Sister Catechist and Sister Media Visit the Museum

Crossing the Unknown Sea: Work as a Pilgrimage of identity

Here’s the Church, Here’s the Steeple, Open the Doors, Where Are All the Young Adult People?

That might actually have been a good workshop to go to since if you did the opposite of whatever they said it would probably work. Unfortunately most of the advice we get on revitalizing the church is from reverse-Cassandra’s. Cassandra the daughter of Priam had the curse of knowing he future but having no one believe it. We are cursed by progressives talking about being prophetic and unfortunately being listened to.

Making Your Special Event More Memorable Through Music and Drama

Have you ever said, “We only have a month. What are we going to do for our program?” Around every corner there’s another event to prepare for. Why not have a musical program that not only reinforces the importance of Christian education but also enhances your students’ exposure to the world of music and movement? Whether it’s Mother’s Day, graduation, Christmas or Easter, we’ll help you prepare with simple songs, motions and ideas that are sure to leave “fingerprints” on the heart. We will provide you with hands-on tools and ideas to help eliminate your stress!

Why do I have the feeling that their drama suggestions for Easter would not eliminate stress but heap in on my instead. I think I will leave fingerprints on my heart to my cardiologist.

Not Another New Song

We will explore ways to wake up a sleepy assembly by invigorating the music they already know and by careful introduction of new music. Come and sing new music “hot off the press” and find out how to sing old music in new ways!

How about singing older songs the old way? Now if I slipped in some fake names could you easily spot the difference? A kind of workshop Turing test. But alas they are all real. I am also not saying that even the listed workshops were not orthodox in their teaching, though given the conferences past performance I would convert to metrics and not touch most of them with a ten meter pole.