New from Christian Dio the latest in liturgical based scents. We have been making high quality perfumes for years and our new one is no exception. Introducing Eau Espirtu of Vatican II™ from our new line of dissi-scents.
This lush scent of Eau Espirtu of Vatican II™ will take you back in time to the sixties with a subtle harmony of felt banners, burning draft cards, indian incense (guaranteed not to have a liturgical connection), and a note of crisp citrus and almonds to remind you of fruits and nuts. These various aromas appear to be discordant and this is purposeful to fully reflect the spirit of Vatican II. Instead of using an aldehydic base we have developed a unique and patented process to ensure the perfect base. Our fragrance scientists involved in olfactory research have developed this new process called reverse-canaization. We first start with fine wine and after intense preparation convert it into luke-warm water!
Eau Espirtu of Vatican II™ demands nothing of you and you can wear it at anytime with no change of your current lifestyle. No directions are required since you are sure to rely only on the spirit and not any actual text. "It is the spirit that gives life, the text is of no avail"
If you suffer from perfume allergies don’t worry. Eau Espirtu of Vatican II™ is so watered-down that even those with the most sensitive noses will not be offended.
Look for the Scratch-n-Sniff example as a pullout in the latest issues of America, Commonweal, and the National Catholic Reporter.
| Surgeons General Warning: Can cause your hair to turn prematurely gray, severely affect your reasoning process, and cause you to rush to the television when Fr. Richard P. McBrien appears. Though most users report that they didn’t notice the difference or consider it not a side effect but a feature. |
*A parody along this line was suggested to me by reader Anthony Roberts.
18 comments
Let us Spray!
(not this stuff of course, but as WYD nears, it’s best to use “Oh dear Cologne”)
I don’t know about WYD. Juventutem is going to be there, aren’t they? Aren’t they quite the traditionalist group?
Besides, forget turning hairs prematurely gray. It could just make those already gray hairs (mine are salt and pepper LOL) turn blue.
BMP
“reverse-canaization”, is this a typo ro “reverse-canonisation”?!
In any case, this whole thing just smells to High Heaven… Literally!!!
Nothing at all like “incensum istud a Te, Domine…”
Something else I forgot to mention…
This product has a registered trademark? Cool! 🙂
BMP
Heck, Jeff. The sratch and sniff feature is amazing!!! I scratched the image of the little perfume bottle, sniffed it and smelled the spirit of Vatican II (or was that the Smoke of Satan, I can’t keep the two scents straight).
Jack,
I don’t think “…canaization” is a typo – given the context – taking fine wine and reducing it to lukewarm water – it is a reference to the miracle at Cana which prefigures the wedding feast of the Lamb.
In defense of WYD, it is an excellent opportunity for young Catholics to come together and to grow in their faith (there are sections of catechesis, Masses, devotions and opportunities for confession and reconciliation. As I understand it, Juventutem is the youth movement associated with Tridentine Catholics ie. Ecclesia Dei Catholics who are in union with Rome NOT Lefevrite or Lefevrite-type Catholics. The Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter is promoting the Juventutem group (they may even be the initiators). We must recognize that they are well within the bounds of the Church.
Hey, I like the design!! Now if we could change the aroma a little…
Indeed, no one’s toilette is complete without Eau Espirtu of Vatican II.
More succinctly: toilet (n); a flushing apparatus.
lmao
The other day Joan Chittister walked by and I found her irresistible. I bought a copy of every single one of her books, now I know why.
mells like… Eau Espiritu of Vatican II!
Jeff at the Curt Jester serves up another rollicking parody…
Thanks, Father…!
I give marrying couples a small printed wedding booklet that is quite beautiful, and I add to it a prayer:
May He, who blessed the Wedding at Cana with His first public miracle, bless your wedding today.
I think I got this from QUO VADIS, but it’s a lovely wish whatever the source (I hope!).
This perfume idea still stinks, though!
“demands nothing of you and you can wear it at anytime with no change of your current lifestyle.”
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
thank you for this, it is a great liturgical laugh.
of course, that’s just my two (s)cents …
*ducking*
Chemical analysis reveals that early in its development, Eau Espirtu of Vatican II was infected by the bacterium Espiritu ’60s, a close genetic relative of “Rebeliosius individuatii”. This unfortunate contamination has ruined entire batches by unpleasantly altering the patented Odor of Sanctity which has always been the most notable brand attribute of this Manufacturer’s products. The CEO continues to assign almost unlimited resources to His staff’s efforts to purify and distill this important product to conform to the original design.
Is there a scent for men being developed?
*spritz spritz*
My bad, gender is irrelevant.
I wonder if even those with a strong allergic reaction will rush to the TV as fast as Fr. McBrien rushes to the camera. He’s the Chuck Schumer of theology.
Anyway, your new product should compete effectively with My Sin by Lanvin. (Anybody remember that? It wasn’t a joke.)
Or “Obsession” by Calvin Klein.
Smells better than Napalm anyway, and if it demands nothing of its wearer it at least does not consign fellow-humans in Vietnam and Iraq to a nasty death.