For the Michael Moore Generation

Here is my letter to Pepsi:

To PepsiCo. Board of Directors:

I am a regular consumer, just like many other Americans. I am upset with Ms. Indra Nooyi’s comments and further upset with her attempts at an apology. Nothing was “misconstrued” (she even said in her speech, “You know what I’m talking about.”) and her criticisms of the US were not “inadvertent.” They were blatant.

Whether or not she and PepsiCo. realize this, her attempt to clear things up only makes matters worse because it implies regular consumers are ignorant and naive, things which this one and most of the rest are not.

I am not going to buy any Pepsi products (all of them, not just the soft drinks) until two things are done:

1. A real apology is published that acknowledges what was said was wrong and a mistake. (Even if she believes it, she should state that comments like that are not appropriate for a leader at a consumer-related business to make, at least if they do not want to suffer the economic consequences, and especially if it is one so reliant upon the American consumer society.)

2. A statement expressing the good that the US does in the world. This country is not perfect, but it is one that brings much good to the world. To list some of the many:

-Tsunami relief (we actually backed up our pledge with the funds and relief services).

-Saving Europe during WWI.

-Saving the world and stopping continued Nazi extermination of the Jews during WWII.

-Saving South Korea from Communist (and eventual death camps) North Korea.

-Trying to salvage the job the French started with the Vietnam Conflict. (We did not succeed, but we tried.)

-Standing up to the Soviet Union and continued Communist expansion.

-Being the beacon of hope and light for those living under repressive regimes.

-Saving Kuwait when Saddam Hussein invaded that country.

-Helping to stop the genocide in then-Yugoslavia. There we helped Muslims against Christians, a point too often neglected.

-Assisting with funds and services to help after the Iran earthquake.

-Bringing freedom and self-rule to Afghanistan.

-Arresting and imprisoning the evil dictator Saddam Hussein along with delivering justice to his sons. This stopped the mass murder of his own people, torture, rapes, financial rewards to suicide bombers, and all-around continual threats to anyone who displeased him. (Notice we did not catch him, torture him, and then kill him. We delivered him to be tried by a court of law, something few countries would do. Yes, the US is one of the few, just like our Marines.)

-Thus, bringing freedom and a democratic vote to Iraq.

There are many more.

No matter what happens in the world, when someone needs help, they turn to us and we do help. We do because it is the right thing to do. We do because, quite often, no one else will. We do … because we are Americans.

We are not the middle finger to the world. As radio host Hugh Hewitt put it, we are the backbone, the spine, the shoulders upon which others are able to stand. We are also the guts and intellect when something dangerous or complex needs doing.

Nooyi’s criticism is a slander upon the face of the US. It is reprehensible. This is a country that provides much relief, aid, and even hope to billions around the world. When people despair, when people want more opportunity, where do they go? Like Nooyi, they come to the United States, the land of hope, freedom, and the brave. That she forgets that may be excusable if a forthright apology is forthcoming. That she neglects that is unexcusable.

The decision remains with you. Your now-former customers are awaiting a response that respects our intelligence and more importantly respects the good that the United States of America has done for the world and millions of its own citizens.

Sincerely,
William Perales

Good Lord, this is what passes for a CFO today?! She (I’m presuming “she” as she mentions needing a manicure — I’m a sexist), doesn’t even rise to the level of banal, let alone clever. Back in the olden days, a CFO would actually have a thoughtful review on market shares and increased productivity. They didn’t waste time on rambling middle finger jokes.

Parody? No. That was her actual commencement address. No, really.

that’s correct, the only parady is Jeff’s can – the story is true.

I think what makes this speech so offensive is that fact that it is so contrived (and childish!) to force the United States to be the middle finger, which only works in the context of the American symbol of the middle finger, not in the worldly view being discussed. Because this speech forces this vulgar symbol toward the United States, I think Ms. Nooyi was intentionally offending the U.S., despite her apology (or was just so thoughtless).

We’ll ignore that fact that she had to start out with seven continents and only five fingers. That puts Australia further south and out of the picture together. This should have been her first clue.

So why can’t “North America” be any of other other fingers?

Pinky – western culture has not been here very long, so we are a young continent on the world scene, looking to fit in with the rest of the hand. I’ve been to European cities 10x older than anything in our continent.

Ring – Sign of stability; the United States government hasn’t changed for over 200 years. We haven’t lost our traditions and roots and still trust in God.

Pointer – pointing the way? How about fighting dangerous world views in several world wars, fighting communism, terrorism and remain democratic despite the threats.

Thumb – My impression is the North American economy has provided extensive help in developing technologies in medicine, computers, materials, and so on. The thumb helps the hand “grab” further.

So what does Ms. Nooyi come up with for the middle finger? She says “The middle finger anchors every function that the hand performs and is the key to all of the fingers working together efficiently and effectively.” Really? I bet I could do most things without my middle finger. Typing might be harder, but I could easily get by without it. Not only that, but as others have pointed out, she even has to add “in particular, The United States.” How can you be more contrived and deliberate than that?

Since they feel that way about the USA, maybe Pepsico’s BOD can manifest their karma by moving the junk food corporate offices to New Delhi, stop making potato chips and sodas and start selling tea and popodoms. They can also use the kama sutra for a guide as to how to better employ the USA finger on their president. At the same time, they should also get rid of losers like Bob Allen from the board. He’s already had a chance to run one major US corporation into the toilet (AT&T). Why does he get to have all the fun by helping to doing it again?

No nation in all human history has been as benevolent as the United States has been to all continents of the world. Perhaps the directors of Pepsico can explain why — like methane on the bottom of a septic tank that eventually bubbles to the surface — these hate America types that have bubbled to the top of corporate leadership can find nothing positive to say about America. The last Pepsi product has already been brought into my house. wml

Just once, I’d like to read a press release from a corporation saying that it had no idea its spokesperson harbored such contempt for and ignorance of its customers and employees, and that that spokesperson is, forthwith, fired!

Yes, this country is so bad that millions illegally cross the borders to enter Mexico and Canada. We’re so bad that we couldn’t give a talented foreigner like her a chance to run a company like Pepsi. After all, wherever the heck she is from obviously leads the world in having foreign, female CEOs run their companies.

She’s a woman with so much class that she uses a prepared speech to lecture a captive audience on their graduation day. We’re lucky to have her.

I guess I’ll continue to do what I can, donate to charity, and pretty much ignore what idiots like her say. I’m sure she served her country, gives to charity, and is a regular Red Cross blood donor. I’m sure she probably teaches classes in her native language for all who want to learn it. I’m sure it’s OK to go to wherever she is from and insult college graduates so I won’t take it personally.

However, I’m not perfect, so I will watch for Pepsi’s products and derive a certain smug satisfaction from buying the competition’s.