DONUTISM (Not to be confused with old
heresy known as Donatism) Donutism is the propensity for some Catholics
to leave their parish and join a denomination based on the quality of
the donuts and coffee that that is served before, after, and during
Sunday services.
Be sure to read Fr. V’s whole list.
6 comments
Oh, I know this gig well. I remain at my parish church, St. Joseph’s, because, despite the fact that we get coffee and doughnuts (note: doughnuts, not “donuts”) only once a month, the local mega-church, with the multi-million dollar sound system and on-site Starbucks, serves STALE baked goods.
God bless and keep the little ol’ladies that host our monthly coffee and doughnuts. With fresh doughnuts on the buffet, all’s right with the world.
Is the heresiarch for this particular heresy Homer of Spingfield?
Oh just love that one! Yup I know a few of those!
My dad recalls a Depression-era gig he and some buddies got going: they would sing in the Methodist choir at 8, and get free donuts; then they’d run over to the Methodist church and sing at 10, and get free donuts; then they’d dash to over the Catholic church and sing at noon, and get free donuts.
The Presbyterians didn’t have free donuts, so they were spare my dad’s scheme.
Lutherans, of course. The second place was the Lutherans.
Last spring our city police sponsored a charity half-marathon run. Unfortunately, it was scheduled on a Sunday and part of the course ran right past my parish, with the bulk of the runners scheduled to pass about the time of the end of the first Mass. To try to avoid traffic conflicts the cops suggested to Father that our parish reschedule our monthly coffee time for that day. It was no problem, and all went well.
As compensation for our trouble the police were gracious enough to provide the donuts for the occasion. And yes, Father resisted the temptation to comment on cops and donuts (though he was certainly thinking about it!)