Hymnal Plus

How do you tell parody from reality. Some days it is really hard to tell such as the case of this actual product.

Whether you have trouble finding good, reliable organists (or other musicians), have no instrument or simply want good music available for outreach, the Hymnal Plus is the solution. As well as churches, the Hymnal Plus is widely used by Schools and Colleges, Chaplaincies in the Armed Forces, Prisons and Hospitals, Retirement Homes, Retreat Centres, Christian Holiday Centres, Cruise Liners, Crematoriums and private individuals – all of whom find the Hymnal Plus provides their complete worship music needs.

As well as providing a complete worship music solution, the Hymnal Plus can also be used to fill in when the regular musician(s) can’t make it. Use it for weddings, funerals and outreach. It’s ready to play any time, anywhere.

The HT–300 features an advanced, high quality sound generator, capable of reproducing up to 124 notes simultaneously. This processing power allows the HT–300 to create pipe organ sounds the right way, by layering individual pipe stops together – just like an expensive electronic church organ does. The end result is far more authentic than the usual simplistic approach found in other products and ordinary midi file players.

Hat tip Ironic Catholic

When they add a module for badly played folk music it will be a real hit in Catholic parishes. Getting the liturgical acoustic guitar sound down won’t take much effort. Plus considering it can hold 7400 hymns that is overkill for the small number of Haugen/Daas/Joncas hymns actually played each week at Mass.

Plus maybe they can get the robot musicians from the Vincent Price film The Abominable Dr. Phibes

I wonder about developing a Catholic hymnal jukebox app where people at Mass could select the hymns to be played? Or even better one that takes micro-transactions of 25¢ taken to prevent certain hymns from being played. Especially since I suspect that people would select the common fare because that is just what they are use to. We have such a rich tradition of sacred music and each week we get the Chinet equivalent.

Still I guess I prefer actual humans signing “Here I am Lord” for the millionth time than the HT–300 belting out an actual piece of sacred music written before 1970.