Why Jesus Wouldn’t Have Been A Blogger

The Ironic Catholic has an amusing post on “Why Jesus Wouldn’t Have Been A Blogger”

Oh, don’t get your panties in a wad, okay folks? St Paul would have been a blogger (Man, think of those comboxes). St Francis de Sales would have been a blogger. St. Maximilian Kolbe would have been a blogger. Not bad company at all, but Jesus would have stuck to “God’s pedagogy,” parables. After all, think about it….the reasons why Jesus wouldn’t have been a blogger (beyond a lack of computers and internet):

You can see her list of reasons here.

Now I will hijack her idea with some of my own possible reasons:

• Because there is no Content Management System that allows writing in sand with your finger as an input device.
• Jesus could not find a hosting plan that would renew the site domain each year for eternity.
• Because he knew people would be annoyed at him if he was a daily blogger. “A day with the Lord is as a thousand years and a thousand years as a day.”
• The Gospel of John does not start with “In the beginning was the WordPress, and the WordPress was with God.”
• He decided the world really didn’t need skeptics asking if God could write a blog post so long he couldn’t finish it.
• Jesus living in eternity outside of time lives in the eternal now and sees all events as one. Thus making it easy to accidentally post on something that hasn’t happened yet in our experience of time. For God everything is a spoiler alert.
• He knew it would be difficult for us to always have to update the Bible with new blog posts. Plus he was totally fine with what St. John wrote “But there are also many other things which Jesus did; were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written.”
• Jesus is perfect and thus could not be a blogger. Satan though could easily be a blog commenter.