In these sad days it is near impossible to avoid some form of cooperation with evil. To make matters worse it can often be deeply confusing to navigate the moral theology involved and choosing the best possible good when cooperation with evil is unavoidable. Sorting out the moral object, the intention, and the moral acceptability and ensuring that there is never formal cooperation with evil takes vigilance and understanding of the moral theology involved. Within the two main areas of formal and material cooperation it further branches off into active and passive and with passive material cooperation into immediate and mediate (which also branches out further).
Understanding these difficulties we here at Curt Jester Laboratories have developed a new product to guide you through the labyrinth of moral theology dealing with cooperation with evil.
Presenting Remote Material Cooperation™ the device that will help you to make the right choices in avoiding cooperation with evil to the fullest extent possible.
With the Remote Material Cooperation™ device your cooperation with evil will always be remote. Plus it includes a Proximate detector so that your involvement in not near to the commission of evil and always remote and never proximate.
Click the “Guide” button to display pertinent information from moral theology textbooks. It also comes equipped with a DVR (Daily Virtuous Recorder) to save those events when you minimized evil. Simply select the “Power (of prayer)” button to turn your Remote Material Cooperation™ on and aim it at your moral life. Press “Rewind” to review the days moral events for your examination of conscience.
As we are called to live in the present moment there is no pause or forward button, but the most important one is the “Pray” button which needs to be used often if you are to avoid formal material cooperation with evil.
This device works with all rational souls so no need to enter 3 and 4 letter codes extracted from multiple pages of the manual being that we are all one model made in the image of God.
Make sure you buy one Remote Material Cooperation™ device for everyone you your family since you don’t want any fighting in who controls the material cooperation remote. A specially coated plastic case keeps the Remote Material Cooperation™ from sliding into your couch since this is one device you never want to loose.
Within 30 days your list of sins to confess with grave matter will be reduced or your money back! Within a year your confessions will be rated as popcorn level as per Venerable Fulton J. Sheen “Hearing nuns’ confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.”
A revolutionary new energy system Remote Material Cooperation™ to run directly with AC (Acts of Contrition) so you will keep both this amazing device and your prayer life charged up with the same thing!
So if you want to aim for that narrow gate and walk the path to holiness than buy the Remote Material Cooperation™ now and avoid the ultimate sadness “There is only one sadness, to not be a saint.” — Leon Bloy,
2 comments
I could really really use one of these!
Is there an application for Protestants, esp one that will give us swimming lessons? Those things no doubt get the best reception on the other side of the Tiber.
🙂
Why take moral theology when you can get one of these?
Is this connected with Doctor Who’s magic screwdriver thing?