The Al Smith Dinner Mandate

I’m not going to keep going on and on complaining about the Al Smith dinner. His excellency made a prudential decision that I disagree with, but it was his discussion to make. There has been a lot of hyperbole about how we can’t trust him anymore, etc. I just don’t join that camp.

So instead of griping I might as well have some fun concerning this. Creative Minority Report beat me to the fun part as they have “10 Suggestions for Obama at the Al Smith Dinner“. For example:

8) If President Obama doesn’t like what he’s served, the Cardinal should offer an accomodation meal which is exactly the same meal just served a little while later.

Now some think that His Excellency is being wily in the President Obama invite and will let-him-have-it at the dinner. The Cardinal is not so bad a host that he would resort to such a tactic and one that would just get overwhelmingly negative reporting. You just don’t sandbag guests regardless of the guest.

But that doesn’t leave off Matthew Archbold’s examples of demonstrative examples.  I would suggest some of my own.

• Tell the President that there is a Al Smith Mandate where the price for the dinner is $1,000 dollars and the proceeds all go to a fully pro-life cause.  Now if the president feels the money going to a pro-life organization violates his conscience, the Cardinal could just send him a bill of $100 a day until he gives in an pays the dinner mandate.  If he still objects we will report an accommodation has been made and of course we still send him the same bill of $100 a day.  After all if the $100 per day tax/fine is good enough for businesses it is good enough for the President.
• Provide a large silver basin full of water at the President’s table.  If he asks what it is for “To wash your hands and recite ‘What is truth’.”
• Change the name of the event from the “Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner” to the “Alfred E. Neuman Memorial Foundation Dinner” We can go from “Be not afraid” to “What me worry?”  The Mad Magazine  mascot is really much more fitting and based on the President’s ears he might even be related.
• Have fun names for the menu items such as “Sensible Conscience Clause Chicken”, “1st Amendment Applesauce”, “Freedom of Religion Ricotta” , “Mints wrapped in condoms (every meal requires condiments)”,  and the band can sing “Losing my freedom of religion”
• Sitting at the President’s table we could have people dressed up as St. Thomas More, St. John Fisher, and other martyrs of religious freedom.