Screening them out

I think we need a new screening program at Catholic Schools and CCD classes. This one directed towards students. This screening test would actually be targeted towards Catholic girls. I propose a Future Pop Star (FPS) screening quiz should be implemented immediately. The reason the FPS is needed immediately and really should have been implemented years ago is because of the antics of Catholic girls like Madonna, Christina Aguilera, Gwen Stefani, Lady Gaga, etc. Somehow Catholic girls make for the biggest pop stars and those like Madonna and Lady Gaga go beyond just the immodest strutting into using the Catholic faith as something to mock while symbols associated with the Church are used as part of their shows. On Lady Gaga’s latest video:

The pop princess, real name Stefani Germanotta, recently released the music video for her single “Alejandro” and has sparked quite the outcry given its saturation of controversial imagery, including her swallowing rosary beads in a latex-version of a nun’s habit, holding the crucifix in front of her crotch and simulating group sex with a bunch of beefed-up men, who are nearly naked save for underwear and high heels.

Before you get annoyed by this – don’t worry it is nothing negative don’t you know.

And “Alejandro” director Steven Klein told MTV that the video wasn’t meant to “denote anything negative, but represents the character’s battle between the dark forces of this world and the spiritual salvation of the Soul. She chooses to be a nun, and the reason her mouth and eyes disappear is because she is withdrawing her senses from the world of evil and going inward toward prayer and contemplation.”

I really need to work on my music video symbolism since I didn’t get any of that from it.

While all children deserve a real Catholic education where the truth is fully taught, the Future Pop Star (FPS) screening quiz could be used to identify future pop stars so that teachers and their parents could give these students some extra tutoring in scripture, Church history, theology and especially the Theology of the Body as taught by Pope John Paul II. Right now they got the Theology of the Bawdy down pat. Imagine if these talented Catholic women actually knew their faith instead instead of just being culturally attached to it? Just imagine if Sinéad O’Connor kissed a picture of the Pope instead of all the strange angry turns her relationship with the Church has taken?

Though at least the Church has given these pop stars a rich history of symbols to mock. You have to feel sorry for the pop singer raised Unitarian – where there are no real symbols to latch on and mock as part of their stage shows.

There has been a term of derision used recently to describe these women singers – Pop Tarts. While I am all for almost any pun I don’t much like this term. I do have to wonder though if the Catholic variety should be known as Pope Tarts?