I am producing a movie on Ron Howards family. In the movie based on my research I say his father was a drug pusher and his mother is a prostitute and that Ron Howard engages in S&M. All of the portrayal of Ron Howard and his family in my movie and the prequel I am doing later will be highly negative. I will present the Howard family as something totally based on lies and question whether his parents really were his parents in the first place. I will also attack his fans for being foolish enough to be a fan of him considering his background. My hero will follow clues that prove this evidence
Now of course this is just a movie so people should not be upset about my portrayal of the Howard family at all. It is just entertainment people – only a fool would take my claims seriously.
Some jerk named Phill Donahue, president of the Howard League for Religious and Civil Rights has been making claims about me that are simply incorrect.
Let me be clear: neither I nor my film “Ron Howard’s family are Demons” is anti-Howard. And let me be a little controversial: I believe the Howards, including most in the hierarchy of their fan club, will enjoy the movie for what it is: an exciting mystery,
Mr. Phill Donohue’s booklet accuses us of lying when our movie trailer says the Howard’s ordered a brutal massacre of drug buyers and prostitutes. It would be a lie if we had ever suggested our movie is anything other than a work of fiction (if it were a documentary, our talk of massacres would have referenced the Mafia).
So come on people – get a life. The claims in the movie are simply fiction and so should not bother you at all. Next I will be doing a movie on the Dahla Lama and his work with the child porn industry another exciting fictional thriller.
[Source]
26 comments
I give it two thumbs up!
A++
Great post! I only wish that Ron Howard and Tom Hanks would read this post, and reflect on the weak defense of their Dan Brown movies.
Carl Olson has a thorough refutation of Ron Howard’s response to Bill Donohue, here:
http://insightscoop.typepad.com/2004/2009/04/ron-howard-angry-delusional.html
Sorry to be nitpicky, but in your post title, it should be “Howards” rather than “Howard’s” (i.e., omit the apostrophe). Your posts are funny enough that I usually overlook the occasional grammatical slip, but this particular misuse of “‘s” is one of my pet peeves, and it’s right there in the headline. I just couldn’t stop myself — sorry again! 🙂
Good one. Well done.
Zzzzzz…sorry, I slept thru it. The very first sentence put me out.
Sounds like a plan. I can do you filmography, with a critical eye of course. Only as critical and real as ole’Ronny’s.
Brilliant Jeff. This one is just great.
Excellent Jeff. What a numbskull Howard is.
Not spending one red cent on anything he makes or Hanks makes or Brown makes etc etc. Anyone I omitted?
I can’t wait until you come out with your biopic on Ron Howard where you don’t change anything in the story.
And then there’s your latest project, an ultra secret secret book that no one knows what is about, but it will be on sale in November, just in time for Winter Solstice shopping, which has already been preordered in Harry Potter type proportions by chic Winter Solstice celebrating Howard bashing but in a good hearted way folks everywhere.
Great article but it needs a nice photoshopped “movie poster” to bring it home. A good visual would give it legs over the internet and make it “viral”.
I think that pretty much puts it into perspective doesn’t it.
Classic!
Great satire, but let us not forget to pray for these people. The words of Jesus apply very strongly here: They know not what they are doing. It is, however a very sad commentary on the anti-catholic culture in which we live.
AMEN!
For what its worth, these are the comments I posted on the EW article website, where as you can imagine, the comments are laden with the same old anti-catholic hatred (not to mention lies!) that we’ve all heard a zillion times:
“just an observer Fri, Apr 24, 2009 at 02:16 EST
Its always so amusing to watch the catholic haters come out of the woodwork. It truly is the last acceptable bigotry. And now its more “hip” than ever. I just love the way the liberals who so espouse “tolerance” spew the most hateful intolerant trash imaginable. They’re only tolerant if you agree with them. They’re too stupid to realize they’re only showing their true colors. We’ve seen many of their ilk come and go the last 2000 years and we’ll see many more before its over with! Keep on slugging. The church will be around long after the likes of Ron Howard, and every other hate monger and hate monging organization is long gone. You can count on it.”
Actually the stuff on this website is nowhere near the worst I’ve seen, I’ve just had it with all the haters who espouse themselves as “enlightened” PLEASE…This country is on its way to becoming a totalitarian state when even a beauty contestant, who also happens to be a Christian, isn’t entitled to free speech.
P.S. Despite my tone above, I couldn’t agree with Roberto more. These people do need our prayers…
Excellent satire – I will be linking from my blog.
I’m waiting for the Holy Spirit to “renew the face of the earth.” Maybe Ron can make a movie about that!
Remember–Fiction programs the Mind (personal computer)the same as a download programs your laptop. Evil under any other name is still EVIL…..
Don’t forget to claim that members of the Howard family are actually helping the investigator in your movie, so how can it be anti-Howard?
I just saw a musical called Sunday in the Park with George and you could equally say it’s an attack on George Seurat and his bloodline in that the story told is fictional but a distortion of his life and family in a way that makes it believable to the audience as reality – all for the purpose of allowing the writer to express his personal opinion about matters.
It still doesn’t sound very interesting to me. Of course I don’t go to movies anymore anyways.
I agree that Ron Howard et al are Catholic bashers, and propaganda promoters, and uninformed about the amazing sacrificial love shown by Catholics worldwide for social justice, and charity that is phenemonal.
BUT, to refer to Ron Howard’s “family”, in toto, is disingenuous, and unfair; since his children and other extended family members, whom may not agree with his extreme “left of center views”, and vitriol against the church, are lumped in to the satire. Many cannot separate “satire”, from “reality”.
I think it makes it more difficult for those of us that love the Catholic church, to be listened to by those whom are not part of the “Hatred of the Roman Catholic Church League”.
Thank you.
Dody Terry
Chillicothe, OH
Hi, interesting post. I have been thinking about this topic,so thanks for posting. I will certainly be subscribing to your blog.
In my opinion Mohammed made up Islam as he went along in his life and conquests, including his numerous conquests of women, using many ideas and practices from the religion existing when he lived.
If someone wrote a book or a script about a modern-day Tom Hanks like character investigating this and it was well-written and an exciting “edge-of-the-seat” adventure/ mystery does anyone really believe the great Ron Howard would have enough courage to make this film?
Has any major Hollywood producer like Howard or production company had enough courage to make a major motion picture critical of Islam or that even the presents Islam in a bad light? Why Not?
Someday in the not too distant future the progressive Howard may want to make or shoot a movie in Europe and he is going to be told he cannot because secular movies of the Ron Howard type offend Islam. Howard will meekly drop the project.
In my opinion Mohammed made up Islam as he went along in his life and conquests, including his numerous conquests of women, using many ideas and practices from the religion existing when he lived.
If someone wrote a book or a script about a modern-day Tom Hanks like character investigating this and it was well-written and an exciting “edge-of-the-seat” adventure/ mystery does anyone really believe the great Ron Howard would have enough courage to make this film?
Has any major Hollywood producer like Howard or production company had enough courage to make a major motion picture critical of Islam or that even the presents Islam in a bad light? Why Not?
Someday in the not too distant future the progressive Howard may want to make or shoot a movie in Europe and he is going to be told he cannot because secular movies of the Ron Howard type offend Islam. Howard will meekly drop the project.