LAKELAND, Fla. – Todd Bentley believes God acts through him to cure cancer, heal the deaf and raise the dead.
So do hundreds of thousands of people who have visited his raucous revival meeting, now in its third month and broadcast nightly from a huge tent in the middle of Florida.
The 32-year-old Canadian, tattooed to the fingers and neck, puts a palm to the forehead of the sick, desperate and faithful. Bentley yells “Bam!” they collapse and he proclaims them cured. Attendees dance in the aisles, shout to Heaven, laugh, shake violently and cry.
If Christians are going to follow the Food
Network as a lead than I least propose that we have:
- Iron Theologian. Each week two theologians face
off in the debate arena to determine whose theology reigns supreme or
more accurately whose theology more illuminates the supreme being. - 30 Minute Catechesis: Each week the host Viva Christo Rey
goes through the Catechism. Viva is talented at presenting
the faith in bite size chunks. - Grape Expectations: Reviews of sacramental wine are
presented each week. - License to Grill: Hosted by St. Lawrence.
- $40 a Day: A show about how to actually run a parish when
parishioners only throw a buck in the collection box.
12 comments
“License to Grill: Hosted by St. Lawrence.”
Cool – St Lawrence would say: “Time to flip it over!”, and the crowd can respond: “It’s done on this side!”
you are a “sick” man !!! L O L — very funny. Tanks for the laugh.
Bam?
A faith healer whose technique is informed by Emeril? Hmmm…
Alas, Jeff, the first one has been done
http://ironiccatholic.blogspot.com/2006/08/theology-channel-introduces-iron.html
Marvelous when life imitates satire….
The 32-year-old Canadian, tattooed to the fingers and neck, puts a palm to the forehead of the sick, desperate and faithful. Bentley yells “Bam!” they collapse and he proclaims them cured. Attendees dance in the aisles, shout to Heaven, laugh, shake violently and cry.
Wasn’t there an X-Files episode about this? 🙂
License to Grill: Hosted by St. Lawrence.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
St. Lawrence, patron of barbeque, pray for us!
30-minute catechesis is not such a bad idea, actually! Imagine: get people to come to church even just 15 minutes before Mass starts, and give a lesson on some Church teaching.
I just used up my secretary’s bottle of rubbing alcohol to clean off my keyboard and monitor. I spewed Coke all over the place.
Can’t wait to see these on EWTN!
The thing about these faith healers, I am waiting for someone to pull off a REAL miracle, you know, raising someone years dead, restoring an amputated limb, levitating… it would only take one such to convince. As it stands, well, Jesus knew not to show off.
I like the suggestion menu. LOL!
Ummm…..well the only thing that isn’t that funny about this post is that they actually aren’t making it up. I know several people who went there and witnessed the scene themselves, including one Roman Catholic priest who is quite orthodox. So evidently, God is working through Todd Bentley to bring about miraculous healings–and a lot of conversion with it. The event is attracting a lot of pentecostal types, and they aren’t as reserved as we are. I personally wouldn’t be the dancing type, but I don’t see anything wrong with it. (Ps 30:11,Ps 149:3, Ps 150:4, etc).
I’m speechless. This is so odd. I don’t think even the great Curt Jester could come up with a parody this incredible.