Rich Leonardi has coined a great word "Orientemophobia." This word of course applies to how every article on the the extraordinary form of the Mass for the Latin rite must mention that the priest has his back to the people. He also provides a great example of Orientemophobia in the caption of a picture for a news story.
This reminded me of something else. Have you ever been in one of those common new church architecture styles where the Church is laid out like a fan auditorium style and the where the priest during the homily tries to make eye contact with everyone? I call this Ad Oscillating where the priest acts just likes one of those lawn sprinklers that slowly rotates around 180 degrees and then starts over again. There is this precise semi-shuffle as the priest slowly rotates on his axis so that he can make eye contact with all parts of the Church.
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I recall a Mass celebrated by one of my seminary professors – we were on pilgrimage in Italy. I think this was at St. Paul Outside the Walls in the chapel of St. Benedict. The altar was attached to the wall and the priest was not comfortable “turning his back onthe people” so he “faced the people” when he greeted us, but he never turned more than ninety degrees to the left – during the Eucharistic prayer he stood facing due (liturgical) south with the altar on his left and the “people” on his right.
On the other hand, another priest-professor seemed like an old pro when it came to saying Mass ad-orientem – the manner in which he offered the Mass was quite a bit more recollected to say the least.
My favorite neo-rubric is when the priest fluffs out his clothes layers to get to the wireless microphone controls.
In the seattle cathedral, the homilist has to almost do a full 360 to make eye contact with everyone – it looks like his head might spin out of control and snap off
Perhaps Ad Oscillating is even more appropriate a term for priests who show the host to everyone at the “Take and eat.” There is nothing that gives more the willies at Mass more than that.
The old chapel at my parish was like this. At times I felt like I should be on a Lazy Susan with the altar severs slowly rotating me during the homily.
I agree on the pet peeves:
1. Priests who wander the aisles during the homilies to talk to everyone and ask questions like a schoolteacher. They remind me of Phil Donahue.
2. Priests who blend the motion of the consecration with the elevation rather than bow down to the host for the consecration, as they are SUPPOSED to do.
our church is fan shaped, but nobody attempts to make eye contact with anyone on the sides. It’s rather nice. I like the fluffing out of robes to adjust the microphone as well, but it’s better than the time our pastor got to the front after the procession, and then realized his robes were on backwards. He fluffed it out and whipped it around. It was somehow almost as embarassing as having one’s fly undone.
“2. Priests who blend the motion of the consecration with the elevation rather than bow down to the host for the consecration, as they are SUPPOSED to do.”
Someone told me that the turning with the host at the “take and eat” is reserved for the Pope. If that’s the case, it makes it all the worse for priests to do it.
LAWN SPRINKLERS?? Lol!
It’s not what the priest looks like, but the crick I get in my own neck when he has to keep turning his head to include the people in the “wings” that is uncomfortable in some churches. Every time I “feel” sympathy spasm, I remind myself to sit in the middle next time, just in case I’m causing him pain.
At least there’s a (semi) sensible reason why priests in amphitheater-shaped churches rotate like that — they have undoubtedly been taught in homilitics what any intro-level forensics student is taught: you should make eye contact with every quadrant of the “audience” area, because it helps you appear engaged with your listeners (and in turn helps your listeners engage with you). Screwball architectural styles make the results sort of silly, of course.
And lectors are told in “lector training” to look up and make eye contact as well, which not only puts you in danger of losing your place, but makes your voice “bounce.” When other lectors stop me and compliment me on how well I read, how you can hear every word, etc. I always tell them, “I don’t look up like they told you to do when they trained you. It sounds better.” I notice a few following that example now, but they train ’em faster…
I’ve invented a liturgical rite: Rite of the Hanky. Since I have on four layers of clothes and preside under eight 8,000,000,000 watts search lamps in a church with one of those ascending ceilings that direct all A/C away from the altar, I SWEAT..I don’t mean, “I perspire.” I SWEAT…free flowing, falling on the floor, soak through the chausable SWEAT. So, I have three or four hankies folded up in my pants pockets and use them constantly. At first I was so embarrassed I could crawl off and never come back. Now, I just wipe and pray, wipe and pray, wipe and pray.
Fr. Philip, OP
Fr. Phillip:
See if they can purchase fluorescent spot lights. I know they have them for home use. Much cooler and you can be ‘green’.
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