Hell Indoctrination begins with a “listening session”, so that satan can become aware of what the ordinary damned are expecting from their new place of residence. Each new resident is given crayons and paper and asked to draw their feelings about damnation. Afterward, everyone explains their drawings with gentle assurances that there are ‘no wrong answers’.
From the ‘listening sessions’, the committee will come the conclusion that every damned soul there expects to be ordained, given prominent roles in the governance of hell, and also desires sexual activity on demand, without interference or judgement. A committee is suggested to go straight to the bottom to force the issue with the big guys below.
Hell? No, this is what actually happened in my own diocese a number of years ago…
Hey, Jeff should start a new line of Flannel-graphs depicting Hell. Different backgrounds, varying punishments (à la Dante’s Inferno), and lot’s of scratch-and-sniff sulphur stickers.
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Hell Indoctrination begins with a “listening session”, so that satan can become aware of what the ordinary damned are expecting from their new place of residence. Each new resident is given crayons and paper and asked to draw their feelings about damnation. Afterward, everyone explains their drawings with gentle assurances that there are ‘no wrong answers’.
From the ‘listening sessions’, the committee will come the conclusion that every damned soul there expects to be ordained, given prominent roles in the governance of hell, and also desires sexual activity on demand, without interference or judgement. A committee is suggested to go straight to the bottom to force the issue with the big guys below.
Hell? No, this is what actually happened in my own diocese a number of years ago…
Hey, Jeff should start a new line of Flannel-graphs depicting Hell. Different backgrounds, varying punishments (à la Dante’s Inferno), and lot’s of scratch-and-sniff sulphur stickers.
The Diocesan office workers were impressed with the guest speaker’s grasp of the faith and what it really meant to be Catholic…
Y’know, frankly, that is what a “centering prayer” group always looks like in my imagination . . .
lolz @ Meg Q.
Whew, no bishops in hell.