namespace DVC { class DaVinciCode : HolyBloodHolyGrail { // Set values, later to be overridden by Dan Brown method bool monksInOpusDei = false; bool jesusMarriedMaryMagdalene = false; bool existenceOfPrioryOfZion = false; bool bibleCollatedByConstantine = false; bool nicaeaCreatedDivinityOfChrist = false; bool gospelsLaterEditedToSupportClaims = false; bool cupMissingFromLastSupper = false; bool saintJohnNotInPicture = false; public void Book() { while (peopleWillingToBelieveAnything && christianBashingAcceptable) { bookSales++; movieHype++; danBrownsBankAccount++; historicalAccuracy--; artHistoryAccuracy--; skepticism--; badWriting++; if (asLongAsItIsNotTheVirginMary) divineFeminineSupport++; mainStreamMediaChallengeCredibility = false; string excuse = "It's a fictional book"; string action = "Spend hours writing to debunking books complaining that " + excuse; bool seeContradictionSpendingTimeDefendingFiction = false; foreach (media outlet in mainStreamMedia) { bool freePublicity = true; bool notPointOutObviousFlaws = true; bool dontOffendMuslimsAtAllCosts = true; bool christianBashingOkayThough = true; bool misrepresentOpusDei = true; bool askIsJusticeScaliaAMember = true; } } } } }
22 comments
haha. Very Good!
*nerdy laugh* hehehe. 🙂
As an old C/C++ programmer, I can get into this one. Thanks.
Is there a Fortran (WATFIV or 77) or perhaps BASIC version for older engineers?
SUPERB!! Ausgezeignet!!
When I first heard of DVC, computer code is exactly what I thought it meant, and so to see it written out was funny enough. The operators and conditions you chose to highlight are so spot-on, you had me laughing out loud and near ROTF.
Stellar.
As a purist, I hate the use of namespaces. And what is the foreach doing there? Is this a Java corruption?
Awesome. I couldn’t help but run the program because my curiousity got the better of me. It is the only virus that my Macintosh has gotten (or is able to get).
Can it be used to hack into Dan Brown’s website?
Dead brilliant Jeff!
VERY good! Ha! You have broken the code!
The DVC can only operate in a hypertext environment, the actual BASIC code involves several self-referencing logic loops and cannot run without hanging up the OS.
100 PRINT “Show me the money, suckahs”
200 GOTO 100
St. JimBob: LOVE your endless loop! That got a bona fide LOL, over here. 🙂
I think it’s great that this is written in C#.
wow. be careful. Don’t nerd yourself to death 🙂 Good one tho.
Catching my eye: morning A through Z (humor edition)
My, humor was hard to come by this morning in the blogosphere. Here are a few things that caught my eye:
Blame Bush! Cindy Adams explains how BDS lead to Rosie O’Donnell being hired for The View. Hat tip: Beautiful Atrocities.
Not exactl…
I think I’m gonna smack the next person that refers to Opus Dei and Antonin Scalia in the same breath (or two consecutive lines of code…)
*fell out of chair laughing so hard and now incapable of getting up because I have had a heart attack from laughing too hard*
That’s…awesome!!
Diese Uchronie ist nicht unwahrscheinlicher als die Fabeln der Kirche.
Die “Templiers” sind nicht wegen Blasphemie von Philippe Le Bel und vom Papst erledigt worden. Sie waren einfach zu m�chtig und zu reich f�r die Karolinger geworden.
Den “Templiers” das Geheimnis der Tochter Jesus: Sarah anh�ngen zu wollen,
ist eine sch�ne kontrafaktische Geschichte.
Warum sollten wir aber nicht daran glauben ?
M�ssen wir den eidesstaatlichen Versicherungen
vom Opus Dei und ihrer Benedikten glauben ?
Fantastic!!!!!
Unionsbuerger,
Sprichst du etwas Englisch? Ich kann nur ein Bischen von ihre ‘Post’ verstehen, und es sieht wie ihr habt eine Frage aus. Stimmt es? Fragt ihr ueber wann wir mussen Benedikt und Opus Dei glauben? (Bitte, meinem Deutsch vergeben — es ist gar nicht gut, ich weiss, aber ich hoffe dass ihr kann mir verstehen!)
…oder ist dass “ich hoffe dass ihr mir verstehen kann” ? 🙂
That’s a way too cool code Mr. Curt Jester!
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