From a press release by the Church of Scientology International
Christianity teaches that Heaven is a place where one will live and bask in the glory of God the All-mighty. However, there is scientific technological proof that Heaven exists only as a studio state mock-up built by space aliens, and that Jesus Christ was an imaginary movie actor created by those space aliens. If you wish to learn the facts, just visit any Scientology store and ask to purchase the Philadelphia Doctorate Course #24 and HCO Bulletin May 11, 1963.
The scientific fact, discovered by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, is that Jesus Christ, Heaven, and Christianity are all part of what is technically called the "R6 Implant." This implant was created by psychiatrists from outer space some 45 trillion years ago to fool souls into believing in God and thus enslaving them forever with the belief that one is accountable to that God.
"Somebody somewhere on this planet, back about 600 BC, found some pieces of R6, and I don’t know how they found it, either by watching madmen or something, but since that time they have used it and it became what is known as Christianity," said L. Ron Hubbard. "The man on the Cross! There was no Christ."
Hubbard also discovered in the same year that Heaven exists on a planet somewhere in this solar system and is made up of robotic mannequins, electron beam guns, movie screens, movie projectors, and assorted studio effects. This was proven in 1963 by L. Ron Hubbard and it continues to be scientifically proven every day by Scientologists since then.
Hubbard visited Heaven several times during this and previous lives. He described Heaven in a technological scientific paper titled "Routine Three — Heaven, Hubbard Communications Office Bulletin May 11, After-Dianetics Thirteen."
"The gates of the first series [of implants] are well done, well built. An avenue of statues of saints leads up to them. The gate pillars are surmounted by marble angels. The entering grounds are very well kept, laid out like Bush Gardens in Pasadena, so often seen in the movies. Aside from the implant boxes which lie across from each other on the walk there are other noises and sounds as though the saints are defending and berating." Hubbard then discovered "The place, by implant and inference, was supposed to be in the sky like a floating island. Actually it was simply a high place in the mountains of a planet and the gates pathway falls away into a gorge, very eroded and bare by the time of the second implant, but heavily forested and rolling at the time of the first."
You may use this technology to be free of religion and Christianity forever. For a limited time you may purchase this technology for only $450 for the Philadelphia Doctorate Course #24 and $150 for Routine Three – Heaven. All major credit cards are accepted. [Source]
I thought at first that this was some kind of parody, but the quotes listed are actually from L. Ron Hubbard. I knew some of the wacky stuff like body thetans and such, but this is a whole other level. No wonder St. Paul couldn’t describe heaven. He had no words for robotic mannequins and electron beam guns.
18 comments
Dear Lord. The juxtaposition of “proven scientific fact” and all that nonsense about aliens and robots just blows my mind. How anyone can take this seriously is beyond me.
Hooray for Hollywood !
If you think that’s weird, wait until you hear about Xenu (or Xemu)… and the fact that human being evolved from clams. (I swear I’m not making this up). Of course to learn this stuff first you have to get rid of all those nasty body thetans, which will cost you approx $30,000.
Here is a website that shows all the wacky teachings of Co$: http://www.xenu.net “Operation Clambake”
What was it that P.T. Barnum said about suckers?
Then again, just how many times are we being hoodwinked by legitimate scientists with goofy theories, used car salesmen like Jesse Jackson and the Clinton Duo, the Nobel Prize Committee, the NYT and any major televison network, and great theologians like Dominic John Crossan?
I am trying to conjure up the thought of 45 trillion year old psychiatrists? C.G. Jung? Maybe the Scientologists can endow a chair at Harvard–and why not given so many of their “Studies” programs.
You thought Greek Mythology was weird? See what happens when you try to put the supernatural in purely natural terms.
Here’s an interesting point: if apply St. Thomas’ proofs for the existence of God to these ideas, not only do they come across as bad theology, but also as bad science.
St. Thomas points out that nothing that exists in this universe is eternal. For everything in existence, there was a time before it existed and there will be a time after it exists. If this is true of everything, then there will be time when nothing exists, even Hubbard’s Robotopia, there.
If there was a time before everything existed, then that begs the point: how do we have anything because something cannot come from nothing. Therefore, you need a supernatural Creator Being who exists outside of time and is all powerful. Anything else would be illogical and, therefore, unscientific. It would also be insufficient for explaining the existence of anything.
Something people have totally forgotten about science is that it presumes the existence of a Creator who created a universe with measurable orderliness, not chaotic randomness. Because people have forgotten this, the assumption is that science is real because it only deals in the measurable, and religion is all your head because the infinite is, by definition, immeasurable.
People who think this way do not address where their philosophy betrays all logic, science, and the human heart because of their own pride. This makes them double victims as they deny the possibility of the supernatural in their lives and forces them to worship the natural (something ALWAYS comes into that void) like Hubbard, themselves, planets, robots, Plutonians, Marx, etc.
I take personal issue with the idea that we as humans have been tricked by some cruel implant into believing in God. But you can see how the their dogma has progressed from simple disdain of religion as playful psychological games to an evil trick perpetrated by Martians. Yeah right, we all know that when you deny the existence of God that way the next stop is the rubber room.
Actually, this all kind of sounds like something the Robotic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future would say.
Pay another $300 and I am sure you’ll get the whole story complete with a backyard pool full of elven blood, and a ticket to Robo-France 29!
“Those are not socks, they’re laser-guided WEAPONS and I get CRAZY if you touch them!”
Sounds pretty Crazy doesn’t it? That is what Operation Clambake,Scientology lies.com and The Rick Ross Foundation has got you to believe that is what Scientology is. I tell you right now, if that is what it was I wouldn’t have been involved 30 years. It is funny what one can do with someones writings that is taken out of context, with there own spin on it, will do. . Remember LRH was a Science fiction writer and often used his talents to make points. If you follow the whole story there is something valuable you would get from his writings. Think any body would pay the prices Scientology gets out of there courses, if people didn’t just get totally blown away? Think about it… When one finds out what Scientology really is, They get in and help us “Clear” This planet. Insanity is growing Rampant out there. In the past it has always caused our demise. For Societies sake and your own find out what it really is. From a Scientologist, Not from a failure, someone who couldn’t cut the mustard and failed and now is making themselves right and Scientology wrong. There is a lot of Spiritual Gain to be had when your growing towards God.Your are really a Spiritual being, What do you think God is?
Only 5% make it at most any subject you care to pick. We need to raise those statistics if this society is to survive. The Jokers and degraders arent able they will not make it, don’t let them take you down with them…The amount of case gain there is to be had, will continue to keep blowing you away even after 30 years. There is no top on ability…I promise your going to kick yourself for not finding out years ago what it really is…When you fix the mind, you regain the other 90% of your abilites. There is reason Scientologists put down Shrinks. They know they don’t have a clue, because they think your a piece of meat. We know your the viewpoint and consciousnesss is not physical, neither is thought or intention and when you understand that you increase human abilities beyond ones current comprehension. When you deal with that you make incredible gains. Find out what Scientology really is. It is not a believe system, so you don’t have to believe me. It is something you have to experience for your self.
*Sigh*, that is so sad.
It reminds me of how Tom Cruise has answered questions about Scientology by emphasizing, “it’s a method to be happy, to be fulfilled,” blah blah blah.
Everything but what it actually TEACHES and asks you to DO.
Diamonddille, you can talk about spirituality as much as you want. Scientology talks about Xemu, alien warlords, body thetans, courses that cost lots of money, and all kinds of other totally freaky, unsubstantiated crackpot nonsense.
I’m just going to ignore Diamonddile.
Scientology is now illegal in most countries because it’s just a goofy pyramid scheme created by L Ron as a tax shelter to make him rich.
Why don’t scientologists like psychiatrists? I guess for the same reasons that other deluded schizoprenics dislike psyciatrists.
There’s not much we can do for them except to pray.
Sorry I am trying to just get you to look for your self. I just got done explaining where that Xenu garbage came from I gave you the site to go look. I told you that is not Scientology. If you don’t want to look , it is your Lose.., I know what Scientology is, and what it isn’t…The mind will find reasons not to change, it’s your life…I know there is a lot of change available.
Scientology is a Technology of the mind, first and foremost. It is a technology to get you to look at your own existence as a “Spiritual Being”, who you can find out for your self, that is who you really are, if you care to look..
Just what is a “Spiritual Being”? You might as well ask, Who are you? Or What is God, he is a Spiritual Being too, ya know… In finding out who you really are, you will find out all the Mysteries of the universe, You will find out where you really came from and what Life is really all about. To tell you would only be data you can Joke about. If you can recall for your self, Those past forgotten memories that contain tons of upset, Pain and emotional Charge, by the time you get that charge removed (Which is what Scientology really is, you never hear about), you will see for your self the real truths of existence. I asure you it will be more than just Data at that point. You can recover the KNOWLEDGE of who you really are and when you do, You will regain from those past memories of you, YOUR Spiritual abilities you have lost long ago you will now have at your disposal to live life with.
You will know you won’t be able to tell any one unless they are on that same level, but you will know, but it will advance you ahead in human abilities many notches. You know your ahead in notches from where that “Wino” is in the street, I challege you to prove it to him!!! If you understand that concept, then you will know what you will get from increasing your own consciouness. If you had the consciouness of God you would know what it is all about and you would have incredible abilities.. You wouldn’t be able to tell any one unless they too was on that level. That is why we are all trapped to the material world, we forgot who we are. In Scientology LRH discovered how to get the Pain off your case and get the amnesia off your whole track ,so you can regain your basic abilities as a Spiritual Being, as that is who you really are. Man thinks he is a human being. If he was to grow more aware of himself and grow up he could know different. That is the truth of what Scientology really is, but until you get some reality of how asleep man actually is , it won’t be real and will be the Brunt of all Jokes.
That is why I say it is something you have to realize for your self. I mean what if I am Right? Do you understand the Ramifications of what that means?
Now I told you, for what good it will do. Man at mans current level of cousciouness as a society cannot have the truth yet. In time He will be able to , listen to Coast to coast am at night on your am radio and you will see man is slowly becoming more aware. It takes awareness or conciouness to know the truths of existence, to tell man when he is not ready will only serve to get your self hung. Your welcomed to wait another 300 years for mans consciouness to change, or realize that is what Scientology is all about and you can know the truths and get your abilities back Now…
If you were to recover all the attention units you have stuck in your past on a spiritual level and bring those attention units into Present time, You would be able to see present time for what it really is. YOU ARE WHERE YOUR ATTENTION IS…If you see present time for what it really is , you will be cause over it. PERIOD. If you understand what I am Talking about?
Who in there right mind wouldn’t want to be in PRESENT TIME? If your in Present time, you cannot get sick, You cannot have an accident, You will be able to use communication alone and your mind wouldn’t shut down on you and you could handle any situation life throw at you. It is a good thing to be in Present time, because you now have the ability, to see it for what it really is. In other words you now have the ability to see truth. All mental illness is ,is a being stuck it an incident of his past. Bring him into the present time makes him sane. We just bring people into present time, without drugs. Drugs screw up your time track sticking you in your past for an eternity. It is an individual thing, your stuck to this rock for the rest of your eternity That to me is the real Hell, till you grow up spiritually. I hope you understand why Knocking Scientology has such heavy ramifications on your own personal eternity, for Real. YOU are a spirit, You cannot die, you will be back. Making man responsible for his past and what he is doing in present time, will assure your own personal survival and raises his responsibility level incredibly. NOW go and JOKE about it, cause if you do, YOU do not understand what I have just said… Bring a person into the present and freeing him from the past will fix your mind. If your in the present your ability to absorb data, to concentrate,to focus, to make things happen all increase, It really is good thing, that is why you owe it too your self to look, its your eternity.. There is an awful lot of growing ahead of you. If you want to remain primitive man, it is your choice. I know what Scientology really is… So can you , but you must LOOK…Now if it is not real to you, Realize that is why it is our Religion, so respect ours, we respect yours..
You could have just said;
The Scientology religion is about the individual man or woman. Its goal is to bring an individual to a sufficient understanding of himself and his life and free him to make improvements where he finds them necessary and in the ways he sees fit.
Ok I can do that – Yep I understand myself well and I think to improve myself I will go to mass and adore the Eucharist! Marvellous
Um …
Hooray for Mary Baker Eddy ?
I heard the LR Hubbard made up Scientology on a bet that he couldn’t create a made-up religion that people would actually follow.
Hmm…I wonder if diamondille will be willing to defend that crackpot Tom Cruise too…
Or is Tom Cruise a Rick Ross plant as well?
Questions, questions.
BTW, even with diamonddille’s lengthy explanation, Scientology still sounds eerily like that mind-control organization in Bowfinger. lol! Technology of mind indeed!
A note to diamonddille: your posts were difficult enough to grasp without your continually ignoring the existence of the following words:
they’re
their
you’re
Please incorporate these valuable words (where dictated by standard English rules of usage) in your future posts. Thanks!
Be free of religion and be happy.
By taking on another religion. And an exceedingly controlling and greedy one, at that.
Well, I guess this sort of bait-and-switch did work for Communism. “Workers of the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but your chains — which we will exchange for chains, shackles, a leash, thousands of gulags, and Lubyanka Prison.”
The really sad thing is that, if you’re desperate and spiritually hungry enough, you will fall for this sort of combination of fake fellowship and brainwashing techniques, and then you’ll be eager to swallow even L. Ron’s crazy mythology. It’s a judgment on us that we Christians let people get and stay that spiritually hungry and that desperate.
But Scientology is not harmless, and it is still spreading like a virus. Maybe the Blue Army should change their focus to praying for the conversion of Scientology’s headquarters — Clearwater, Florida. (Maybe that would’ve helped Terri, too.)
Diamondille, I knew L. Ron Hubbard as a science fiction writer before I knew him as anything else. Wait, let me rephrase that: I knew him as a hack. He was a crap writer with the imagination, talent, and style of a wet sock. This is why, when he first started peddling his snake-oil under the banner of Dianetics, I didn’t give it the time of day. I judged the book by its cover, and what that cover screamed was “Con Artist”.
Then he got into the fake messiah business and made his ‘science of mind’ a religion. The Church of Scientology. Just look at that name, for a start: does that sound hoky or what?
I’m sorry to rain on your parade, but I didn’t trust the man when he was alive and I sure as shooting don’t trust the organisation left behind. Mr Hubbard hung around some chancers, wackos, and dodgy characters – I’ve got to dig out the “Fortean Times” article on him – and they all were selling some form of Truth! and Salvation! He’s just another one in the long line of wannabe Barnums.
I am dumbfounded.
Therefore, I am going to start a religion based on the writings of the late Frank Herbert.
God Bless,
Dom
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