Kathy Shaidle replies in part to Andrew Sullivan:
…Unlike pro-gay "marriage" activists, divorcees, birth control users and those living together outside of wedlock are not campaigning to have their sins magically transformed into sacraments.
Organized gangs of troublemakers have yet to storm a cathedral and demand that the priest bless their IUDs. Those whose marriages are breaking up are not insisting that the Church invent a new ceremony to affirm their ok-ness. [Source]
I do wonder what a ceremony of ok-ness would be like? The Rite of Affirmation or the sacrament of Christian cessation where one is giving the grace to continue to do whatever it is they are already doing. Choosing an applicable scriptural verse might be difficult. We couldn’t have any of that "repent and …" or "go and sin no more" stuff. Maybe we could add the Me-atitudes – Blessed is me. Instead of what happened in the the old rite for confirmation you would instead slap the bishop if he dared disagree with you. The bishop would then apply a suitable oil perhaps like Sunflower oil because it sounds so happy and self-affirming, though it would need to be maintained at a luke-warm temperature. Then of course you would take on an appropriate affirmation name like "Narcissus" or "O Kay". During the ceremony Sinatra’s "I did it my way" would be played on a suitable instrument – anything but a pipe organ. The Sacrament of Affirmation would involve a special outpouring of good feeling from the person being affirmed about themselves. Instead of a Holy Card a pocket mirror could be given for remembrance of this special day. I really hope there aren’t any liturgists reading this. If they are then this text is copyrighted with no permission given to reenact.
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I believe that the Rite specifically requires that a turntable, cassette, or CD player be used (in extreme cases, an eight track is allowed), to play the only acceptable version of “My Way” which is the one performed by Sid Vicious of the Sex Pistols. The rite would be conclude with the recitation of the “My Scene Creed”
I believe in two mothers or two fathers
That sex doesn’t need to lead to birth
I only believe in things that can be seen,
that can be gotten, or be made.
I believe that everything is relative
right is wrong
wrong is right
and in cool songs on my iPod.
I believe that it’s stupid to remain a virgin
especially if you are in touch with your inner spirit. It tells me to seek profits.
I believe that Jesus was a really cool guy who was really smart but who allowed himself to be hijacked by a corrupt patriarchal system that hijacked his teaching. I’ve been to Church three times, on the third day, I refused to go again.
I believe that everyone should be able to live their life however they want to and that we should not be judgemental of anyone’s lifestyle, unless they are Christian.
I believe in many different religious ideas as long as they aren’t judgemental, hard, or unwilling to embrace everybody. I look forward to the correction of my body through plastic surgery, and the cool life that I am entitled to through my stock in WorldCom.
amen
“Unlike pro-gay ‘marriage’ activists, divorcees, birth control users and those living together outside of wedlock are not campaigning to have their sins magically transformed into sacraments.”
What? Didn’t anyone listen to the commentators on TV after Pope John Paul’s death and at Pope Benedict’s election? Many divorcees ARE campaigning to have their second invalid marriages made sacraments and birth control users ARE campaigning to have their sins accepted as a normal part of their marriages.
Gay marriage will destroy families. But (as Pope Benedict pointed out last weekend), gay marriage activists aren’t entirely off-the-mark when they say that some spouses in traditional marriages have done a pretty good job hurting the family already.
Hey Jeff… I think Stuart Smalley ala Al Franken beat you to the punch on this with his “Daily Affirmations.”
But the symbol I would add to the Rite of Affirmation is to be sure to carry a collage of yourself in the processional, and I would choose the song “Feelings” as the processional hymn.
How would one consummate a “ceremony of affirmation”? We know how a marriage is consummated, but in the case of married people there is one penis and one vagina. 😛
I truly believe at this point gays are going to try to poison every aspect of the family in order to get what they want. It’s like bad water seeping into a garden. At first you think all is well but before you know it, things start to wilt, and turn yellow, and then when the fruit starts to develope it browns and then dies on the branch. Everything looked fine, but by the time you notice something is wrong it’s way too late.
Lucy: That’s happened with Europe already. Or can it have escape noticed that they’re low-birthing their way into cultural extinction?
Not to mention euthanasia and abortion over there. Muslims are the only ones having babies anymore.
David C. I know it’s happening and you know it’s happening, but whats interesting is the news media and gay supporters want us to believe we’re all hyperventilating over nothing and making way too much of this issue. (ignore the man behind the curtain)~ If a child molester moved into the neighborhood don’t you have the right to say something and keep that person away from children and schools? Don’t we have a right to keep this abomination of the sacrament of marriage out of the church?
Mary,
Amen. I forgot who said it but..”As the church goes so goes the world”. Fix the broken stuff at home then the rest will naturally fall back into place.
Although not a “formal”, degree-holding liturgist, I thoroughly enjoyed your description of the ‘Rite of Affirmation.’ What a hoot! Just wish (and pray) that more would get rid of the self-absorption and be absorbed by THE ONE.
Typical patriarchal repression.
You couldn’t resist using a “Bishop” in your sakrament, knowing all too well that all Bishops are male. Just more of that male dominated White Anglo Saxon worldview that you are trying to ram down the throats of the downtrodden masses.
When we all know that the Sakrament of Affirmation would ALWAYS be conducted by a nun like Sr. Joan Chittester (or whatever her name is. Whatever happened to names like Sr. mary Immaculate, anyway?)
Finally a site about this with comments! Been dying to point out that by Sullivan’s logic, no homosexual can substantially disagree with him either. He’s proclaiming it impossible to agree with anyone who say’s it’s wrong to do anything that you happen to be doing. He seems to be in the process of creating a universe in which repentance is not not only hypocritical, but impossible.
This would be fun if it wasn’t so serious!!!
I’d prefer to call it the Right of Deffirmation, as it doesn’t really affirm anything! Affirming is bad, peoples, BAD…
I agree with most of the liturgical suggestions made here. I would add that the Right includes anointing (with oil of olay or maybe even brylcreem?!) somewhere on one’s person (yet to be defined), and can only be administered by a female or former nun celebrant not in communion with Rome. Plenty of those around…! The celebrant then slaps every male present, unless they are gay.
The disturbing thing is, give it 20 years, and we may see this disgusting travesty occur! MInd you, the election of Pope Benedict XVI (gloriously reigning) has renewed both my Faith and my hope…! Ad Multos Annos, Holy Father!
“The celebrant then slaps every male present, unless they are gay.” Hilarious!!!!