You might have been told in the past that Humanae Vitaemins were not good for you or that if your conscience decided you didn’t need Humanae Vitaemins you could safely ignore them. Latest cultural medical studies have proven the link between lack of Humanae Vitaemins and the lack of children. These studies show the extreme cultural malnutrition from not getting their *RDA of required spiritual nutrition.
Now with B16, Ut Unum Sintrum, has all the required nutrients you have relied on in the past and more. B16 works well with and expands with needed daily intake such as VII and JP2 (Beta-Karoltene) and will not interfere in any way with them. In fact the synergetic effect will only enhance your spiritual metabolism.
The B16 caplets have a special smooth coating allowing you to swallow them without any water. Yet it is true with B16 you do not have to water it down in any way. Our B16 is doctrinally pure with no heretical impurities such as those found in anti-Humanae Vitaemins.
Studies have conclusively proven that people taking B16 daily will continue to have smooth running and orthodox metabolism for years to come. B16 in trials has proven not to be harsh or difficult as had been initially reported.
We are also introducing Ut Unum Sintrum for children since your children are never too young to start off with proper spiritual growth. Parents will be pleased to know that our Humanae Vitaemins are not sugar coated, just like everything else we offer with B16 in it. Guaranteed not to cause truth decay or any form of spiritual rot. The children’s tablets come in fun shapes like German Shepherds and Rottweilers.
*Ratzinger Daily Allowance
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Disclaimer: B16 is not a miracle drug and will not remove any crosses you might bear. Though clinical trials have shown that a steady diet of truth supplemented with B16 will enable you to better embrace your cross and to carry it daily. For best results please use B16 with plenty of prayer and thanks be to God. |
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Caution: B16 has been known to cause allergies, shrill behavior, and coughing fits to some theologians, clergy, religious, and laity. Especially those who have had Spirit of Vatican Flu in the past. Tell your health care provider if you are dissident and they can help you overcome your deficient diet and prepare you for true health with full dosages of B16. Or contact your local Orthodoxopedic surgeon for further information. |
51 comments
LOL Excellent!
That is hilarious.
Wonderful! I hope the children’s tablets come in Dachshund shapes too – these little German dogs have more attitude and fearlessness than any Rottweiler I’ve met.
Best. Parody. Evar.
This is the funniest thing I have read in a LONG time. God bless…
Classic work again, Jeff!
Hey, I saw a great line for our new Pope on another site “The Cafeteria is now closed.” Any chance of working up something for that? I sincerely want it for my desktop background.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! -inhale- BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
So who’s ready for a nice, cold bottle of Papst Bier?
Great events are taking place.
Your mind is strange but wonderful. Did I mention strange?
ROTFL!!! This is excellent. I shall be taking my daily Vitaemins immediately!
How do you make a smiley face laughing so hard it’s crying? LOLOLOL!!!
Can I order a bottle of those?
Send me a fifteen-year supply!
I’m surprised to see this B16 in its current packaging. I thought it would never come in pills, be un-jacketed, and free of IUD (Irritating Uncatholic Dogma).
Anyway, LOL!
I’ll buy into this!
It’s always a joy to see these posts of yours, Jeff. Thanks so much!
ROFLOL!!!!!
….that is just what the doctor ordered for me to get over the initial bite of God’s Rotttwieler!…..wolf statham.
That. . .was. . . .UTTERLY. . . .HILARIOUS!!!!
Outstanding work.
This is great! You’re really living up to the name of your blog!
Jeff,
You’ve once again outdone yourself. ROFL.
Absolutely a great spiritual classic!! You made this mom of 8’s day!!
Loved this! (still smiling after 45 seconds or so)
Absolutely Brilliant! My sides will hurt for days!!!
ROTFLMAO!!!!
Jeff, I’m not sure if you know this or not, but this post has been linked to by the Catholic Educator’s Resource (one of my favorite places to learn about all things Catholic, all the time) and you have a nice mention in the bi-weekly update newsletter they just emailed out. Website is http://www.catholiceducation.org/
This post really is one of the best things I’ve read in days. Brilliant.
You obviously had a lot of time on your hands. And it was obviously time well spent.
This is great!!! ROTFLMBO
A suggestion: change “orthodoxpedic” to “orthodoxopedic”… I think it sounds better.
A few more problems I noticed:
“needed intake daily intake” -> “needed daily intake”
“will not interfere in any way them” -> “will not interfere in any way with them”
“your children our never” -> “your children are never”
“enable you better to embrace” -> “enable you to better embrace” (not sure about this one)
Our dear Pope Benedict may have much in common with jesting – “Anyone who tries to preach the faith amid people involved in modern life and thought can really feel like a clown.” Joseph Ratzinger � Introduction to Christianity, 1969
Also the Hofbr�uhaus Traunstein Microbrewery (his home town) features a clown on the label, see http://www.beerme.com/breweries/de/ba/7012.shtml
I lived in southern Germany many years and legend goes that the character of medieval jester featured in many traditional Fastnacht carnival celebrations is based on the opening verse of Paul’s first epistle to the Corinthians “If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.” (The bells that are associated with jesters are symbolic of self-isolating humans, empty noisemakers, without God’s unifying gift of love)
God Bless and cheerio
Clare
That was absolutely awesome! i had to choke not to laugh out loud at work! 🙂
Thank you, thank you! May I print this for my Confirmation class of 11th graders?
Thanks, Jeff. Another keyboard almost ruined.
(I must never drink and read the Curt Jester at the same time. Ever. 🙂 )
Jeff!
Ouch…my sides hurt!
Phenomenal!
ROTFLMAO!
I’d suggest emailing the permalink to him at his vatican.va address. He’ll enjoy it as he has a sense of humour, and whoever previews his mail will surely show it to him.
A wonderful image. I included it on a blog entry.
http://cluelesschristian.classicalanglican.net/?p=52
Excellent! I like what Patrick Buchanan said about the Holy Father, “He’s not a Rottweiler; he’s a good German Shepherd.”
Excellent! God bless you! We will pray for your continued enerygy and inspiration.
Jeff, I admire your choice of Blessed Miguel Pro as your patron saint. I don’t know if he was the first, but he was shot by a firing squad during the persecution of the Holy Church in Mexico and died yelling “Viva Cristo Rey!” which means Long live Christ the King. This orthodox Catholic family will invoke him to keep you strong and productive!!!!
I asked for Tabasco Sauce,and
they gave me Sauer Kraut.
Perhaps you might add an explanation of Humanae Vitaemins, that they are guaranteed not to suffer from anti-ultra-Montini-ism syndrome. No doubt this is because their manufacturing process involves the hidden catalytic role of the Beta-Karoltene.
I had to share this page’s URL with friends, both in my local parish and back where I used to live in Baltimore.
WDEO in Ann Arbor Michigan is having their pledge drive this week– http://www.avemariaradio.net –and is currently reading your B16 parody over the air. It seems they’ve received it as an e-mail and I haven’t yet heard them say that it is your original work. I’m going to email them and direct them to your website because they need to see the packaging as well as all of your other fun stuff.
Once again, I bow to the master.
THis is the funniest thing ever. Habamus Papam! I don’t know if that i the correct spelling but… THank you Jeff Miller!
As the two gentlemen say in the Guinness commercials: “Brilliant!”
ROFLOL!! Good one!! I LOOOOOOOOOOVE that man!!!
Priceless !!!
I’m so grateful to God for our new good pope. He[God] surely knows how much we are hurting to send us another very holy man.
Just found you web site. What wit and fun. best wishes and God bless.
hurray for B16!
I recently heard B16 called the German Shephard, and the Bark of Peter.
This is so cool! I enjoyed it tremendously!
First I’ve seen of you and hope it wont be the last. Loved it!!!!
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