Fed up with the Intifada? Need to duck out of Fallujah Rooms Include: Each room comes standard with a copy of the Koran and "The Protocols Cable television with a 133 channels of Al Jazeer. Must see Jihad TV. Mini-Bomb Bar with all the components required for making bombs. Inspiration portraits of Bin Laden, Yasser Arafat, and other great leaders Donald Rumsfeld dart board. Steel reinforced bathrooms for those unfortunate accidents when mixing Some of our special services include: Local directory of Al-Qaeda sleeper cells. Five times daily as-salah is announced on the Public Address system. Prayer rugs dry cleaned and returned in a timely fashion (loaners available). Modern Media Center: The latest in modern technology for all your special needs. Beheading video web-cast center. Complimentary head bags for you brave revolutionaries to hide your head Undisclosed location backdrops for threatening video tapes. BIn Laden voice synthesis machine to make high-quality audio tapes to Honeymoon Suite: Interconnected rooms for each wife. Windows painted black to keep your wife from concerning herself with *Surcharge for each additional wife or apply for a group rate for four Suicide Bomber Suite* Before going out with a bang why not indulge yourself in one of our Please check in any suicide belts into our hotel safe in the lobby. *Payment required in full prior to checking into room. Cash or Credit |
Thanks to RC of Catholic Light for
sending this suggestion for a spoof. I had previously thought up Ramadan Inn
in a random
thoughts post, but RC provided inspiration for this satire.
2 comments
“Ramadan Inn, front desk speaking.”
“Yes, hello, I’d like a muezzin call at 7:00? I have a plane to catch.”
“Will that be hijacking or non-hijacking?”
“Non-hijacking this time, I’m afraid.”
“Ah! Then you will want our Decadent Infidel West full breakfast with eggs any style, toast, juice, pastry basket and coffee?”
“Yes, that will be fine. What do you serve hijackers?”
“Well, you wouldn’t want to go to Allah with all that on your stomach. For our hijacking guests we have the Ottoman Classic, mint tea with a splash of our special hadjish herbal supplement. It’s also very popular with our suicide bomber clients.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. This herbal supplement, now, it doesn’t , er . . . well, I mean, all that exertion and then . . . well, it takes it out of one, being blown to bits. What about the seventy-two virgins?”
“Effendi, have no concern. Allah will reward his great ones! But for tomorrow, muezzin at seven and the full Infidel. What more am I to have the so great honor to do for you?”
“Could you stop that guy wailing in the next room? I’ve got to get some sleep.”
“Honored one, I am desolated, but that is one of our suicide bomber clients. You understand, one cannot . . .”
“Oh, in that case . . . goodnight.”
Wahhabi with you, baby?
Jeff Miller invites our terrorist friends for a stay at the Ramadan Inn….
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