Prayers of the Faithful

The post below pointed to a letter that contained some “Prayers of the Faithful” that were on the liberal side and pretty silly.

I decided to write some of my own that would b on the opposite side of the spectrum. Some are more serious and other are definitely tongue-in-cheek.

• Lord help keep us from a liturgical rant,
  please give us polyphony or Gregorian
  Chant.
• Let this congregation always be receptive,
  that true love is never contraceptive.
• That lay people and clergy to the media always opine,
  just as if they actually had a spine.
• That we may fight this culture of death,
  from conception to the final breath.
• Lord remove this suffering for beauty we have missed,
  how long Oh Lord will you punish us with liturgists.
• Lord may our Catholics schools teach truth we plea
  and not dissent and dogma-free theology.
• Lord I know your wrath is not an Old Testament assaulter,
  but please could you not smite the National Catholic Reporter?
• That we may never tire and always raise our voice
  and that no Catholic might call themselves pro-choice.
• That we may give of ourselves and to help the poor
  and not just look towards the government for the cure.
• That we remember we our sinners greatly in need of thee
  and that we praise and obey you in humility.
• Lord help us to win back our Catholic Universities,
  that truth will return and not dropped in favor of diversity.
• That we embrace our faith with a more discerning criteria
  and not pick from it like at a cafeteria.
• 44 Million and counting is the price we have paid,
  help us to overturn Roe v. Wade.
• Lord help us to love our neighbor and never despise,
  especially those
  in the most distressing disguise.
• Our political choices so far have been very poor,
  guide us to pick someone like St. Thomas Moore.
• That we always conduct the liturgy,
  according to the norms of the Holy See.

• That following you and the cross we select
  and not just try to be politically correct.

• That your truth Senator John Kerry might see,
  and not Fr Richard P. McBrien’s theology.

• Pray for President George W. Bush,
  his pro-life convictions seem to need a push.

And by request.

• Good Lord can you do something about Frances Kissling?
  a pillar of salt might be a fine seasoning.

Please add your own in the comment box.