In-Sin-erator

Introducing the In-Sin-erator™, guaranteed to wipe away your sins when
properly used. You will feel pure and as white as snow and your sins will be as far
as the east
is from the west.

Pre-Treatment

It is advised that for proper use of the In-Sin-erator™ that
you first do an inspection. This inspection requires examination of your
conscience
(inspection flashlight not required). Detailed examination requirements
can be found here.

Directions

1. Approach the In-Sin-erator from the front.

2. Look for the proper inspection insignia on the In-Sin-erator™ otherwise
known as the Seal of
Confession. This seal is not allowed to be broken.

3.
Ensure that priest unit is inserted in the proper location. Head will
be pointed towards the ceiling if properly inserted.

4.Choose an entrance to enter. One side will bring you face-to-face
with the priest. The other side will contain a privacy grill placed between
yourself, the penitent, and the priest. Either side will end in exactly
the same
results.

6. You must list any mortal sins if committed
and the number of times. Proceed to mention some of your venial sins.
Classification of mortal
sin can be found here.

7. The priest unit is then activated and
if it determines you are penitent, will give you advice and assign you
a penance.

Do not be alarmed if the penance given does not seem
proportional with your sin. You can not of your own work expiate your
sins. Christ’s redemptive
death on the Cross and in his divine mercy gave the power
to forgive sins to his Apostles.

8. Say an Act
of Contrition or a short psalm of sorrow.

9. The priest then gives absolution saying: "God
the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son
has reconciled
the world to himself and sent
the Holy Spirit
among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the
Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your
sins
in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

10. The priest will dismiss you wit the words of praise:
"Give thanks to the Lord for He is good" or "the Lord has freed you from
your sins. Go in peace.
You respond by saying either "His mercy endures forever" or "Thanks be to
God."

11. Proceed to properly exit the In-Sin-erator™.

12. If the proper procedures have been followed, then congratulations
your sins have been forgiven and you have been given the grace to help prevent
future uncleanness due to sin.