With all the publicity the authors of the Left Behind series have been getting lately, I thought I would repost this.
Gangsta Rap
We preach the theology of John Darby
A lawyer from the late nineteenth century
Dogmatically defined in the Scofield Bible
Footnotes trumped text in the Gospel
Isolating the text from Thessalonian four
Mark 13, Matthews 24, & 2 They just ignore
The Pope be the ho of Babylon
Some punk bust a cap in him at the Vatican
Making up a title is from our bag of trixs
So we can assign to him six six six
Catholic bashing throughout all our books
Just don’t give our theology a closer look
Da prose is bad and not well done
Compares to the acting of Kirk Cameron
In fact the style of Jerry Jenkins
To be blunt is absolutely stinkin
Pre mill, post mill, we made a mill
Mo money just flowin outta the till
Sending your hearts into fibrillation
Preaching the false tribulation
Update: Smockmomma adds her own gangstat rap lyrics:
yo’ fool, you testants just be illin’
cuz you see da catlix always chillin.
in yo quest fo wisdom lost da Truth
so yuz be blamin our JP2.
repent, repent, repent and quit yo dissin
cuz the papists are flowin on da mission
to get fools away from funky demons
always sellin crap an always schemin
to seperate a fool from his bread.
4 comments
Er, don’t quit your day job just yet…. Good effort, though.
yo’ fool, you testants just be illin’
cuz you see da catlix always chillin.
in yo quest fo wisdom lost da Truth
so yuz be blamin our JP2.
repent, repent, repent and quit yo dissin
cuz the papists are flowin on da mission
to get fools away from funky demons
always sellin crap an always schemin
to seperate a fool from his bread.
My first time reading that…
LOL LOL MUA HAHAHAHA
A note on John Darby- one of the early members of his sect was Francis Newman, Venerable John Henry’s youngest brother. John Henry was horrified at his little brother having left the Church of England. ( Obviously he was still a fervent Anglican himself at that point !) Francis Newman left the nascent Plymouth Brethren after a few years- but, alas, he lost his faith in Christ’s divinity along with his faith in ‘the Rapture.’ He became first a Unitarian, then a Deist. It is thought by some that when the Venerable remarked that Protestantism is a halfway house on the way to rationalism, he may have had his brother in mind.