My web counter just went over 100,000 since I opened up this blog on 9 Feb 2003. Appropriately it looks like the person whose visit tipped the counter came in on a Google search for “curt jester.” So a hearty thank you to those who visit and have linked to this blog.
Here is a post I did on my previous blog – Atheist to a Theist, with a few added counters.
I was wanting to add a religiously themed web counter to my site, but after intensive searching these are all I could find.
Jehovah’s Witnesses counter: Only counts the elect and stops at 144,000.
Some Evangelicals counter: Only counts you the first time you come to the page since once counted, always counted.
Mormon counter: Lets you have multiple counters.
Atheist counter: Randomly shows numbers but after millions and millions of years of page views it evolves into a banner ad.
Lutheran counter: Shaped like a dunghill but you can’t read the digits because they are covered by snow.
Feenyite counter. No one outside the church is counted.
Calvinist counter: Only those predestined to be counted are counted
Baptist counter: Be of the age a reason and say the Sinners Prayer to be counted.
New age counter: Counts everybody because all that exists is a counter and each one of us is also a counter.
Unitarian counter: Everybody can believe in the their own counter and it counts or doesn’t count as they choose.
Buddhist counter: All counters are just an illusion.
Moonie counter: Counts only if approved by Unification officials
Health & Wealth Gospel counter: If only you pray enough it will start counting.
Gnostic counter: Only those few with hidden knowledge are counted.
9 comments
Hilarious! You left out the Episcopalian counter: Everyone is welcome to be counted and not judged.
The high-church Episcopalian counter is the same, but it deems it too vulgar to talk about the numbers.
Congratulations, by the way. A hundred thousand happy returns.
You chose:
>Mormon counter: Lets you have multiple counters.
Actually, since they’ve had polygamy “taken away” by a newer revelation this isn’t as representative of the LDS group any more…
a better take would be:
Mormon counter: counts until a newer revelation changes the total
or
Mormon counter: Accepts previous counters totals in so far as they have been translated correctly
Well… regardless of the counter’s religious affiliation – I’d say 100,000 is pretty impressive!!
So what did the 100,000 visitor win?
CAtholic counter: counts anyone who has ever been baptised catholic no matter what they do now or what they say about it.
You forgot the Assembly of God counter
It only counts you if you catch the spirit and start speaking in tounges upon logging in
Agnostic counter – admits to the possibility of being counted, but doesn’t count on it.
$cientology: All counters are top secret and available only to people with access to lots of cash. Revealing of secret counters results in harassment, slander, lawsuits, death, or any combination thereof.
Episcopal counter: No matter what you believe, there is at least one Episcopalian out there who will count you.
Gideons International counter: In addition to the counters they place on hotel websites, they also have a little brown counter for military websites, a little green counter for high school websites, and a little white counter for nurses� websites.
TV Evangelist counter: �If you send me a faith-seed of $50.00 or more, you will be counted more times than you could possibly imagine.�
Fundamentalist church counter: �As we sing the 117th verse of �Just as I Am,� with every head bowed and with every eye closed, is there anyone out there who would like to be counted? Yes, I see that hand in the back.�