There are many modern day vernacular translations of the Bible,
including slang ones for surfers and Australians. But where are the Bible Translations
for Computer Geeks? Jews, Gentiles and Nerds are not left out of God’s plan
for salvation so I have translated parts of the Bible into programming code.
There are many computer programmers in St. Blogs so if you notice any heretical
code let me know, I have not yet completed a heretical debugger for my Bible
Code. The syntax of the code should be simple even for the non-geek to
understand.
//Genesis and creation
switch( day )
case 1:
light = true;
case 2:
sea = true;
sky = true;
case 3:
land = true;
vegetation = true;
case 4:
sun = true;
moon = true;
stars = true;
case 5:
birds = true;
fish = true;
case 6:
man = true;
animals = true;
case 7:
break;
}
//Book of Judges
do while ( oldTestament = true )
{
fallIntoIdoloatry = true;
do while ( GodCallsJudge
= false )
{
// loops until statement is true
}
repent = true;
}
//Jesus' temptation in the desert
for ( int days=0;
days <= 40 ; ++days )
{
fast = true;
if ( days = 40 )
rebukeDevil = true;
)
//John the Baptist
I < Christ >;
or using C syntax
I-- & Christ++;
//Marriage at Cana
if ( wine = 0 & hourHasNotYetCome )
{
doWhateverHeTellsYou = true;
}
//Annunciation
if ( grace = "full" )
{
handmaidOfTheLord = true;
if ( accordingToThyWord
= true )
{
soul = "magnifyLord";
God <> "impossible";
Mary = "blessed";
fruitOfWomb = "blessed";
Incarnation = true;
redemption = true;
}
else
{
Incarnation = false;
redemption = false;
}
}
//Jesus
int Father, I;
Father & I = 1;
public class Trinity
(
persons = 3;
Father, Jesus, HolySpirit = 1;
public godhead Jesus()
{
God = true;
man = true;
}
)
//Rich young man
if ( obeyTenCommandments = true )
{
if ( desireToBePefect
= true & sellAllYouHave = true )
perfectionThroughGrace
= true;
else
walkAwaySad = true;
)
//Peter
for ( int roosterCrow=0;
roosterCrow<= 3 ;++roosterCrow )
{
peterDeniesChrist
= true;
if ( roosterCrow
= 3 )
peterWeeps = true;
)
//Paul
bool always = true;
while ( always )
{
pray = true;
}
7 comments
Good Lord, that’s rather effective.
(class=div=blogger
}
//Jeff Miller
not normal -> always= true;
funny =almost always without
exception;
{more tomorrow? = true;
}
Very funny, but the geek in me is constrained to point out that you’ve fallen into the Endless Loop Heresy by the moral sin of Using Assignment Operators as Tests (e.g., do while ( oldTestament = true )). Tell me that there isn’t a schismatic language that allows you to use ‘=’ for both…
Also, might I suggest you add the line (and note the ‘&&’ replacing ‘&’):
if ( wine == 0 && hourHasNotYetCome )
{
doWhateverHeTellsYou = true;
wine++;
}
Excellent. 🙂
Oh, dude, you are a geek. And I mean that with only the highest degree of reverence.
for ( int roosterCrow=0; roosterCrow
this loop will execute 4 times the test should be
roosterCrow
Please forward to all mathematicians and codebreakers, think outside the box,(2d). THE CODE WAS WRITTEN IN 3D, ITS SIZE IS ONE CUBIT X ONE CUBIT X ONE CUBIT. DIVIDE THE TOTAL LETTERS OF THE TORAH INTO ROWS COLUMNS AND LAYERS AND YOU WILL HEAR THE VOICE OF GOD………….amen
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