Theist Agenda

(Roto Reuters) A group of protesters are picketing outside the T.G.I Friday’s restaurant, the world’s largest restaurant chain, in San Francisco. The group Americans United for the Separation of Church and State of Mind are offended by the restaurants name. Their spokesman had this to say.

“We are tired of going out to eat a good meal at good prices and then at the same time to have their theistic preferences shoved in our face by their full name – Thank God It’s Friday. That they are subliminally requiring us to be thankful to a deity just because it is Friday is offensive for atheists. Using only the initial G is not enough it need to be removed entirely or substituted with a more suitable name. We would suggest they use T.R.E.S.F.E.M.M.F.D.W. W. (Thank Random Elements and Survival of the Fittest and the Ending of the Man Made Five Day Work Week.) instead. It is not enough for them just to remove God, but Friday has to go to. I am offended by the name of this day of the week since it is based on the religion of Norse theists. Friday comes from Frigg’s Day, Frigg was a Norse diety and a contemporary of the diety Odin. We are tired of both dead Norse theists and modern theists shoving their hidden agenda down our throats. We picked San Francisco to start this protest since this city is named after someone who practiced theism named Francis of Assisi and the moniker saint is judgemental on those who don’t believe in an after life. Even city names aren’t safe for atheists. The world needs to be made safe for atheists so that they can live their lives without being confronted by theism and where there is never any mention of the word God or any of the morality that goes with it. Ideally can’t the whole world be like a public school?”

“Picketing this Restaurant is just a start. Next we go to Ruby Tuesdays. Tuesday is another one of the days named after norse deities, Tiw’s Day, Tiw, or Tyr; was a god of justice. After that it is on to the store Heavenly Ham where to buy pig products the concept of a after life is thrust upon your intellect. This concept of a final judgment is just too judgmental, we would suggest the name ‘Non-existence After Death Ham.’ “