Pete Vere of Catholic Light/Envoy
Encore has started a new contest:
Listening to the debate over Church music during the
ChristMass holydays, I got an idea for a contest! Basically, write a parody
about liturgists to the lyrics and tune of that most insipid of modern Christmas
carols, Gramma Got Run Over by Reindeer.
An invitation that I couldn’t resist, so here goes.
Liturgists have stopped the priests reign, dear
They let them still say
Mass on Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as rubrics,
But
as for me and James Akin, we believe.
She’d been reading too much NC Reporter
And we’d begged her not to go.
But she said forget meditation,
So she stumbled out the door into the
snow.
When they found her Christmas mornin’,
At the scene of the Mass.
“Gather Us In” had knocked her dead
And incriminatin’ blood flowed from
her ears
Liturgists have stopped the priests reign, dear
They let them still say
Mass on Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as rubrics,
But
as for me and James Akin, we believe.
Now we’re all so proud of Father,
He’s been takin’ this so well.
Seen
him stopped watching Dan Rather,
And told all the liturgists to go to …
It’s now Christmas with decent singing
The Mass is no longer out of
whack
And the songs are no longer cringing
Respect for the Lord in the
Eucharist is back
Liturgists have stopped the priests reign, dear
They let them still say
Mass on Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as rubrics,
But
as for me and James Akin, we believe.
Now the tabernacle is back behind the altar
And they brought back the
crucifix.
And the priest now prays his Psalter,
No more of the
liturgist’s bag of tricks
I’ve warned all my faith community.
Better watch out for yourselves.
They should never give a degree,
To someone who sings or hums to OCP.
Liturgists have stopped the priests reign, dear
They let them still say
Mass on Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as rubrics,
But
as for me and James Akin, we believe.
