I have always loved Christmas music, especially the older
hymns (and I am not speaking about Frosty the Snowman). Growing up in my neighborhood
we would go caroling from house to house and in High School I spent four years
in the Choir. This was in the time before the phrase from Jefferson’s letter
to the Danbury Baptists “Wall of separation between church and state” was invoked
as the secular humanist’s battle cry. We could still sing Christian and Jewish
songs in the public schools without anybody screaming about being offended.
Good King Wencelas has been one of my favorites, most likely since I sang a
solo part in my freshman year when my voice could still rival Geddy Lee’s (at
lease in pitch range). I did not know anything about the sainted king or even
what the Feast of Steven was. My mother had converted to Catholicism in my high
schools years and to please her I would go to church with her. I even started
to sing in that church’s vocal ensemble, which I thought pretty ironic being
an atheist. We sang songs like “Turn, Turn, Turn” and “Day by Day” so their
was nothing I was singing that bothered me as an atheist. This church was very
progressive and I learned absolutely nothing at all about the Christian faith
from them. To be fair maybe I was just extremely obstinate to hearing anything,
but I had no idea that the Communion Wafer I was receiving was the Body, Blood,
Soul and Divinity of Christ. Maybe this was to the better since I would have
totally mocked this idea; then again we should always be told the truth so that
we can respond to it.
Under my mothers prodding I went to one session with the
local priest to learn about the faith. This was the first time I heard the word
Catholicism used. It made a lasting impression on me that I never forgot, though
it seemed dark and strange. Unfortunately he preceded to explain away every
miracle to some natural cause. I already didn’t believe in miracles as an atheist
so I reasoned I didn’t have to become Catholic to not believe in miracles. These
early experiences are the root of my animosity towards those who teach a faithless
faith and don’t teach those hard sayings that challenge us to sanctity. After
all, Jesus gave the Apostles the difficult teaching on the Eucharist full on.
He was willing to lose disciples rather than to water down the truth or to reduce
the full impact of this mystery. We should be trusted with the truth and the
ability to reply with Peter and say “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words
of eternal life.”
Each Christmas season I always looked forward to hearing Christmas
music on the radio and at that time it was played even on the top 40 stations.
Over time it was played less and less if at all on a station and by the time
the late 90’s rolled around you could only find it on Protestant radio and sometimes
on NPR (which on principle I loathed to listen to). I started listening to the
Protestant radio stations which of course always had an evangelistic message
mixed in. I had already started to let God in a little bit and even acknowledged
that he was real. Hearing the word preached by people who obviously had a deep
faith greatly impressed me. Listening to Protestant radio I also saw all the
conflicting messages preached depending on who was preaching at the time. I
would hear one preacher and then later on in the day I would hear that preachers
ideas being denounced. By grace I was never tempted into Protestantism but always
somehow had the conviction that only the Catholic Church was true. Considering
my poor past experiences with the Church this is somewhat surprising. I started
reading everything I could that the public library had in the religion section.
I was like a dried out sponge that thirsted to be filled with the truth. I started
with feel good Christianity like Dr. Robert Schuller and then finally came across
Augustine, Paschal, and the Catechism. Looking back I was surprised to find
that I didn’t read myself into the Church, but that I had been given faith and
then learned afterwards all of the intellectual reasons that confirmed that
faith. It was pretty arrogant to think it was my reasoning alone and not the
Holy Spirit that had brought me to that point. Of course I had already started
reading the Bible and made the beginners mistake of starting from Genesis and
trying to go to the end. In my ignorance of reading apart from the understanding
of the Church, I reinvented some of the heresies that have always plagued Christendom.
I didn’t have too many problems accepting the dogmas of the Church. Once I had
gotten over the “there is a God thing” it was theologically downhill to believe
in the Eucharist, the perpetual virginity of Mary, and the other beautiful mysteries
of his Church. I thank God for the examples of many faithful Protestants that
I experienced throughout my life and their radio ministry to finally helped
me get past the hump of theism into the Catholic Church.
